Desire is the most frequented strip club in town.
When Kimhan Theerapanyakul is kicked out of his family, he needs money to survive. Becoming a bouncer in a strip club wouldn't be that bad if only Kimhan knew how to fight. The problem is... he doesn...
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Chay wants to kiss him. Fuck, he really wants to kiss Kim. But... that's... is that a good idea? Kim is so close to him. Chay can smell his perfume—it's something sweet, almost like the cookies he brought for him. And his eyes of a dark amber... they are so captivating. He wants them to keep looking at him and only at him for as long as the universe exists.
He wants to kiss Kim. Yes, he wants to.
But Kim is suddenly pulling away and Chay can't allow that. He can't let Kim slip through his fingers now that he has decided that Kim is what he wants. His hand ends up on Kim's nape just a second later. Kim stills under his touch, eyes shy looking at Chay.
Chay cups Kim's cheek with his other hand and asks, "if I want to kiss you right now, will you let me?"
Blush covers Kim's cheeks so fast that Chay wants to smile. Kim slowly nods, whispering a quiet "yes." He doesn't even have time to say more than that because Chay is already kissing him. God, Kim's lips are so soft, Chay's head is spinning. He has never tasted something like this. Fuck, why is Kim so perfect? Why does he make Chay feel things no one else was ever able to do? Chay smiles into the kiss when he feels Kim kissing him back, and turns them around, pinning Kim against the wall. Shit, Chay loves how small Kim looks right now between Chay's body and the wall, all for Chay to kiss as much as he wants to. Gripping Kim's waist possessively, Chay deepens the kiss, loving the way Kim shudders under his touch. Chay licks into Kim's mouth, teasingly nibbling on his bottom lip, before he slowly, reluctantly pulls away allowing them both to breathe again.
"I'm... I'm sorry," Kim whispers, his voice cracking a little at the end. Nervously biting onto his bottom lip he wants to slip from under Chay's hand and disappear into the thin air, but he can barely move before he is stopped by Chay's strong arms around his waist.
"What are you sorry for?" Chay's voice is firm and his face is confused. "I thought that you wanted this to happen. You let me—"
"I did!" Kim says out loud. "I did. It's just that... I'm not good enough for you. I'm just—"
"Who says that? Your father?" Chay scoffs. "That man fed you nothing but shit for years. I believe that I know much better who's good enough for me and who's not."
"But why would you want to have anything with me? I'm only disappointment after disappointment." Kim ducks his head down. He can't bring himself to look at Chay. He can't understand himself. The whole time he baked the cookies he was excited to see p'Chay. He even hoped that p'Chay would love the cookies enough to maybe give him a hug. But now, after they are standing here together, so close to each other after way more than just a kiss, all the awful, degrading words from his father are floating through Kim's mind once again and he once again feels like he doesn't deserve anything good. And most importantly that he isn't good enough for others. To receive good things, to be taken care of, to be loved...
P'Chay is already doing so much for him. He doesn't deserve to like someone who will only disappoint him in the end.
"You aren't a disappointment. Not to me," Chay says but takes a step away from Kim. "But I don't want to force you into anything." He clears his throat, putting his hands into his pockets to stop himself from reaching for Kim again. "If you think that this was a mistake I respect that, but it wasn't a mistake on my part. If nothing else, then I at least want you to know that."
