Forbidden Desire

[29] Breaking Her Into His

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐃𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐚

Beautiful.

That is what I thought as I stared out of the big window, the clear sky and green landscapes of Switzerland blessing my eyesight. The sweet sounds of birds chirping and crisp leaves moving did nothing to soothe my stinging heart. It was in pain, so much pain that I doubted it could ever be fixed.

Even though Switzerland is one of the countries I adored as a kid, and still do as an adult, my mind was far away from peace and happiness. The numbness in my soul and body made it impossible for me to feel the chilly wind pricking my skin. If it was any other time, I would have shut the window quickly and wear some warm clothes so that I don't catch a cold. I get sick easily due to my cold and dust allergies, which are quite extreme. However, now I am at such a point of life that I don't care what happens to me. Probably because I have already seen the worst.

Have I though?

I tuck my knees even further, pushing them against my chest with my chin resting on top of my knees. My mind was constantly racing about thoughts regarding a certain Agrest, my best friend. My stomach churned not knowing how he was or where he was. I was growing restless and tired of the constant guilt that seemed to weigh down my shoulders. Guilt of hurting Levi. He got hurt because of me. It is all my fault.

It almost feels surreal to think how happy I was just four months ago when that monster's eyes didn't fall on me. I used to wake up, go to the bakery, bake muffins with my best friend while talking about everything and anything. I miss everything. Sure, I had to work hard and barely could meet my ends but I was happy, I was content.

The way he would make me smile when I was sad, make me laugh through my tears, save extra muffins for me just because I was obsessed with them, calm me down from a panic attack, everything. I miss his everything.

My heart clenched as flashbacks of us raced through my mind. Each and every one of them were so beautiful that I couldn't help but suck in a breath with tears threatening to fall. Why is life so unfair? I never did anyone wrong. I never once hurted a fly, let alone a human being. So, why is it always me who gets hurt? Both my past and present are horrible, traumatic and dark to say at the least.

I almost jumped out of my skin when a hand came in contact with my face and caressed my cheek. My head snapped and the life inside me almost left. A familiar pair of sinister, dark forest eyes met with my pained, ocean blue eyes. Those eyes, they will never not scare me. The depth of madness in them never fails to make my heart jump.

"Why the tears, hm?" I blinked, not even realising that tears were streaming down my face. His hand came down on my face and gently wiped away the salty wetness that secreted from my tear gland. Elliott was standing beside the window bay where I was curled up against the window. The window was securely locked with a huge lock dangling in the middle, almost like a slap to my face when I tried thinking of running again.