Don't Touch My Heart [LeeKnow]

Chapter 31: Society

|<You didn't wish me good night>

It's from Minho.|

I read the text and I'm like: WHAT.
He was awake.

I stare at the text, not knowing what to do. Should I answer? How?

Is he still angry at me? But it didn't look like it before...

But before I could do anything, he sends me another text.

<I mean, let me rephrase it. I see you don't care about me. You could have at least wished me goodnight.>

Huh? Is he on drugs?

<What? I just thought you were sleeping.> I reply.

He sees the message immediately and I see him typing.

<But even when you were at my house, you said goodnight to me, thinking I was sleeping. Plus, you're not denying the fact that you don't care about me>

What the heck- He is cornering me.
It's weird to admit that I care about him. Very weird.

But yes, the truth is that I care about him, more than I ever thought I would.

I just don't know to tell him this. He did, he confessed to me earlier. He told me things that I still have a hard time believing and process.

I mean, Minho likes me? It would make more sense if it was all a dream. I don't know if I'd prefer to suddenly wake up in that bed where Minho placed me before eating the cake.

I resume from my thoughts and I decide to answer his text.

<Please. I need time to think about this. It happened so quickly and I need to reflect on my feelings. I don't want to make the same mistake I made with Hyunjin. I hope you understand> I hesitate a few seconds before finally sending the text.

He reads it but doesn't reply soon after. I sigh and I stand up from the bed. I lead to the bathroom.

My appearance is horrible. I look like I've not been sleeping for days.

I also observe the little hickey that Minho left me. I caress it lightly, renewing memories. My heart aches.

I take a quick shower and then I put on my pyjamas. Now I'm more comfortable.

I lie back on the bed and pick up the phone I left on the pillow.

Minho left a few texts. I click on them and I slolwy read them.

<Am I a possible mistake for you?>

My heart clenches reading that.

<If you need time, that's fine, but don't talk to me until you've decided. I don't want you to give me useless hopes.>

My eyebrows frown more and more each word I read.

Then there is the last message.

<I'm not blaming you but you shouldn't blame me either. I know I've done some horrible things to you and I hope I can make it up to you. But please don't base your judgment on that alone. That evening, I really listened to your words. I didn't just listen to them, I absorbed them and I'm trying to make use of them. I wasn't joking when I said that with you, I feel like I can be a better person. I just have to give myself a chance. All my life, I have been labelled as the bad one, the one who enjoys destroying other people's happiness. At first, I hated being seen like that, but as time went by, I thought that if everyone said it, maybe I really was. I convinced myself that I was like that and I found a way to make myself respected even if it meant intimidating others. Or at least until I met you. I would be lying if I said it was love at first sight. Initially, to me, you were just a loser like everyone else. But I realized I was wrong when you started defending your honour and your image despite having everyone against you. Everyone considered you a lame loser but you managed to prove them otherwise. You did something that I wasn't capable of years ago.
Instead of giving in to the image others saw of you, you had the strength to resist. I have to admit that that bothered me a lot. I had become jealous of you. But after you spoke to me, I realized that I am not who others tried to make me believe.
But then my pride was too great to admit that you were right. And I was wrong for the second time. It was around that time that my mind was occupied with you and only you.
But you had just started a relationship with Hyunjin and I didn't want to hinder your happiness even if I felt bad about it.
But when today, at the party, you came to me crying, I couldn't resist anymore. I've given up trying to act like I don't give a damn about you.
I felt it was my turn to help you.
When my lips finally kissed yours, I reached the peak of happiness. I couldn't prove it to you but I hope it was the same for you. But then I remembered that you were drunk.
My heart broke but I hoped that despite your lack of clarity, you wanted it as much as I did.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, normally I wouldn't.
I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and be so embarrassed I won't even want to wake up.
Then, goodnight, I guess.>