And happy ever after always seemed like a stretch I said fuck those fairytales and now I want nothing less
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Davina Hernandez
I've gotten so caught up in spending time with everyone and anyone that I forgot about myself.
I forgot I have to study, think, do and even just dream.
That sudden need of an urgent book to finish reading within a day is gone.
Well, just for now because I know it'll come back in just a few weeks.
This is my last year in college so I have to do the most I can to ensure i don't fail my future. The effort has to be put harder than it ever has been before.
I lay on top of my thick sea foam green sheets as I gaze up at my ceiling which is adorned in little glow in the dark stars.
Some may call me childish but just seeing them shine in the dark brings this sense of warmth in my heart that I can't explain.
It makes me feel like a kid again, when I'd crave to look up at the starry nights through my window, but wouldn't find anything because of the area I lived in.
I constantly nagged my parents to buy me these so at night I can just stare at them till my eyelids would feel heavy.
My room is my safe place and is actually quite beautiful with its creamy white walls covered in my drawings and posters.
My floor remains carpeted softly in a light grey color and is now covered in a small pile of clothes and a few pencils.
A small desk is pushed into the corner of the room with a cushioned spinning chair which I remember broke accidentally when I was 15.
Aaron and Ryan once kept taking turns by jumping from the bed to on top of the chair and it bent causing it to be slightly tilted to this day.
Why did I not just buy a new chair? Because I barely sit there and looking at it makes me want to recreate its process of destruction in my head.
It's a quiet Sunday night, as I go through the different folders of memories in my head to try eliciting a spark of positivity before I sleep.
