The fallen Ghost

Chapter 11

KEEGAN

flashback to when Logan was first Captured.

Guilt. It ate me from the inside. I felt like it was all my fault. Maybe if I had never left he might still be with us. Maybe he would never have been captured in the first place. Why did I even leave? I felt like a coward.

Nothing could change the past...

He was gone. All we could do is search for him...or his body...

I ran my hand through my hair, it had grown out during the months I had been away.

All I could do was comfort Hesh through this time. The same feeling of being a failure returned to me again.

I couldn't save him...and I couldn't protect his son... what kind of friend was I?

I wanted to cry, to scream, to yell that it wasn't fair, to beg to break down, to give up... But I couldn't... not yet... Not when there was still a chance he was still out there.

My chest felt like it was squeezing my heart as if a python had somehow slithered inside and was trying to crush my heart.

I slammed my fist into the wall and had to muffle a scream that threatened to escape.

Why him? He was so young...so Innocent...he doesn't deserve this...

Wanted to lash out and yell at anyone who would listen that it wasn't fair.

I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and restrain my arms.

"It's going to be okay keegan" came Merrick's voice. I then realised where I was...

I wasn't in my room breaking down...I was in the command room...full of people...

"I... I'm sorry" I stuttered unable to form words properly. I tried to pull away from Merrick but he refused to let go. "Keegan... we'll get him back..." Merrick whispered "and don't apologise for being human...we feel the same way..."

---

When Logan was declared dead

I walked into the meeting and sat down next to Hesh and waited for what was about to be said. My hands were shaking.

Merrick walked in and took his position at the front and took off his hat.

Oh...oh no...no no no... don't... don't say those words... don't do this to me....

I felt tears filling my eyes and I tried to blink them away but it didn't work. This can't be happening.

"I'm sorry...to say that... after a year of searching we couldn't find Logan... And we'll no longer be searching for him...we have declared him...KIA... I'm sorry" Merrick announced to everyone.

Hesh slammed his fist into the table and stormed out while I sat there paralyzed from shock of what I had just been told.

Logan was dead...he was never coming back...

I felt the tears sting my eyes yet again and I stood up and left. He wasn't coming back... I'll never see him again...

How could we just give up? We haven't even found his body, he could still be alive.