𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Chapter 42

Some words hurt a fucking lot. And when I say a lot, I mean it. In the last one decade, no one has had the fucking power to hurt me with their words. And of course, it's because of the fact that I have had no fucks to give about anyone. Well, let me be honest, I have lost the ability to care about anyone, which is a good thing for my cause. It's good because the people we care about become a weakness to us. They hold us back. Just like our past.

It's like the art of letting things go. The sooner we let things and people go, the better it is for us. I have learnt this a very hard way. Letting go and accepting the fact that I have no family left was fucking tough for me, for I did that. I let them go. Because they were holding me back.

Back from being ruthless. They were holding me back from being a ruthless monster. A monster that is now feared by his fucking name. They were holding me back from possessing this power. The power I so fucking much love.

But that's not the case anymore.

Someone has the power to hurt me. Just with their words. And that person happens to be my wife. She doesn't understand. She has the power to rule me, my entire world. She doesn't realise the pedestal she is sitting on. The power she possesses.

I'm a whipped man on my knees for her.

I knew that she would protest and put up a fight after she gets to know that I switched her pills, but I never knew that she would overthink to an extent thinking I have used her. In the past three months, I have come to the realisation of the fact that she overthinks, but I didn't know she would think to this extent.

But she also needs to understand that what I did was for us. I can't afford such a loss. Adrik Volkov only needs one person to survive, and that's her. So losing her isn't an option. It broke my fucking heart when I saw her fight me, crying because she thought I used her.

Her fucking thoughts.

I don't know but I felt something after so many fucking years. That sting in my heart. After I realised, she thinks I used her. I am using her as a fucking vessel. I honestly couldn't believe her, but the pain that I saw in her eye hurt me even more. The tears that cling to her eyes because of my actions made me want to kill myself.

I feel enraged at this point. When she broke down against me after hearing my explanation, I had hugged her pulling her so fucking close to me. I comforted her, but I felt enraged. I am mad at her. For thinking that low of me.

I rub her back gently as she sniffled against my chest. She has been crying for the past forty five minutes and I have done nothing but engulfed her in my embrace and tried to comfort her even though I just want to fuck her. Fuck some sense into her, that I would never use her.

Why?

Fuck. I don't know the answer to that question. Why? Because I have fallen for her. Yes, that's definitely an answer but it's more than that. But what is the exact feeling? I don't have the answer to it.

The first time I am confused about my feelings.

While caressing her back, I gently lifted her chin, only to find tears welling up in her eyes while her lips formed a pout. Those lips look so fuckable.

Adrik, are you out of your mind? She's crying, for goodness's sake. It has been so long since I last fucked her last time. Nowadays, I find no one else captivating. My eyes can only see her. Only her. I'm becoming increasingly fixated with her. My mind is always occupied with her and right now, all I want to do is, fuck her right here.

It's not completely her fault though. She didn't know Arthur was suspecting us. She was not aware of the danger knocking on our doors. I can't blame her and even if it was her fault, I would forgive her in an instant. Why? Well that's because until she is mine she is allowed to do anything. I am tolerant of anything and everything. The only thing she isn't allowed to do is leave me.