The Secrets Of Grey Street

CXLVII.

After an intense make-out session in the bathroom, with the water cascading over our bodies, Jackson and I dry off and get dressed again. We leave the apartment and head to a nearby restaurant, where we are seated facing each other by the window. Outside, the bustling street captures my attention, as people hurry in different directions.

As we wait for the waiter or waitress to approach, Jackson initiates a conversation. His words pique my interest, and I raise my head to meet his gaze. I notice he's already watching me, his fingers interlaced in his lap. Taking the opportunity, I allow my eyes to roam over his appearance. His disheveled hair, purposefully left untouched, adds to his charm. The unshaved stubble accentuates his jawline, giving him a dark and alluring look. He wears a white dress shirt, the suit jacket absent, with the top buttons casually undone, revealing a hint of his skin. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing his strong hands that were exploring my body just moments ago. I can't help but feel a surge of desire.

A groan escapes Jackson's lips, drawing my attention back to him. I try to maintain an innocent expression as I meet his gaze, noticing his slightly parted lips and his deep breaths. "Stop looking at me like that, Sole, or I might lose control and ravish you right here on this table in front of everyone," he warns playfully. I feel a rush of heat between my legs, causing me to squeeze them together, feeling the sudden wetness.

Jackson covers his face with his hands, emitting a frustrated "Damn" before rubbing his face vigorously. He adjusts himself in his seat and clears his throat, returning to his usual demeanor. I sit there, captivated, watching him with wide eyes. He looks at me and groans once more.

"Please, Sole, it's distracting. We need to have a serious conversation," he weakly pleads.

"I'm not doing anything!" I protest, feeling a mix of embarrassment and desire.

"You're silently begging me with your eyes to satisfy your every desire. It's incredibly tempting." His voice drops an octave, and I can feel myself growing wetter. But I know he's right; we do need to talk. So I close my eyes momentarily, willing myself to stop fantasizing about him. When I open my eyes, I see Jackson trying to regain his composure as well.

He takes a few deep breaths before speaking, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes that causes me to gulp and my palms to grow sweaty. "So, I assume from now on, we can have sex without a condom since we're both clean?" he raises the topic directly, catching me off guard.

I stare at him, my eyes wide, finding it hard to believe that he's addressing this now and here. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, and he smiles, enjoying my unease. I blush from head to toe, unable to meet his gaze. "Yeah, of course," I reply quietly, looking down to hide the embarrassment on my cheeks.

"Okay, we'll get the morning-after pill today, but I think we should also consider getting you on the pill. Is that okay with you?"

On the pill? The thought momentarily confuses me, but I nod in response, not trusting my voice to cooperate.

"I'll take you tomorrow," he states confidently.

"But we have school tomorrow," I remind him, realizing that we were supposed to return from our ski trip today and couldn't afford to miss school.

"Then I'll take you after school. Problem solved," he declares with determination.

I nod once again, feeling completely clueless about what's happening. I truly don't know anything about what's going on. I didn't even take sex education class because it wasn't a requirement and my mom did not want me learning about having sex. Or whatever they learn in that class.

I am a complete sex illiterate and everything I know, I have learned from Jackson.

I am a complete novice when it comes to this topic, relying solely on Jackson's guidance. I'll just let him lead on this territory because I wouldn't know what to do, anyway.

I have no knowledge about condoms, contraceptives, or even the basics of sex. I remember almost asking Jackson what he was doing the first time I saw him putting on a condom, and what exactly is a condom for, but I stayed silent, afraid of embarrassing myself.

Even when he confessed that he didn't wear a condom at the apartment, I didn't fully understand the implications or why not using one could be risky. I noticed his nervousness when he shared that information.

I am so illiterate and such a rookie, that it's not funny at all. It's embarrassing.

I don't even know the basics about sex.

I'm embarrassingly illiterate in matters of sex, lacking even the most basic understanding. It's something I find deeply humiliating. I don't even know where to start or what questions to ask.

Slowly, I retrieve my phone from my pocket, feeling Jackson's watchful eyes on me. I discreetly search for "condom" and quickly learn its purpose: to protect against sexually transmitted diseases. So when he said he was "clean," he meant he didn't have any diseases. A sigh of relief escapes me.

Next, I search for "morning-after pill," discovering that it's taken after unprotected sex toprevent pregnancy. The word "pregnant" sends a wave of anxiety through me. I definitely don't want to get pregnant, especially not right now.

I place my phone back on the table, promising myself to conduct more research later. I need to learn about contraceptives, how they work, and what options are available. For now, I have to trust Jackson to guide us through this unfamiliar territory. If he hadn't brought up the topic, I would have remained ignorant of these crucial matters.

Jackson's touch sends shivers down my spine, and I revel in the warmth of his hand against the back of my head, guiding me towards him for a soft, lingering kiss. His lips are tender and inviting, and I melt into the sensation, feeling a surge of affection and desire for him. "Are you okay, love?"

I nod with a smile. "I'm okay."