Ch. 9- Trouble

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There comes a point in ones life when you realize that maybe you were born into the wrong family or that there was a mistake made and you were meant for someone else but instead ended up with the parents you have.

I have pondered that for a very long time.

I've always felt that I wasn't quite fit for my family.

My mother, who came from Erudite, has always brought a special piece of intellect to our family. My father, born Candor, has taught me and my sister to always be honest. Then they both transferred to Amity, where they have taught us to be kind and happy.

And so I, being the first born, should have all of these wonderful qualities, right?

Wisdom.

Credence.

Love.

Happiness.

But no, I couldn't pick out one of those traits that fully describes who I am.

Kayla, on the other hand, has them all. She is a sure fit for Amity and apart of me has always been jealous of her for it.

As I look at all three of them now, talking lightheartedly amongst others in the dining hall, a churning starts low in my stomach.

Ebony bounces up and down next to me, obviously excited about something that Nate has just told her. I sit in silence between them all. Ebony on my left and my family to the right.

I don't belong here...

Kayla looks across at me, catching my eyes just as I glance up.

"What's wrong with you?" She asks, slight concern in her voice.

I shake my head as to say nothing and look around the room. Amity and Dauntless mix together for a night's supper. The orange, red and black mixing in such a way again that intrigues me.

A swarm of black coats sit in a far corner off to themselves and I spot bold neck tattoos. My eyes linger on Eric's bulky figure as he eats. Bethany sits next to him, her arm coiling around his, keeping him close to her side. The rest of the leaders seem to be engaged in some kind of dispute, the shaggy haired boy pointing an accusatory finger at the other girl across from him.

"Is something bothering you?" Kayla insists. I turn back to her and see that she's also gotten the attention of everyone at our table.

My cheeks stain red.

But I glare at my sister, angry that she's drawn attention to me.

"Nothing is wrong." I grind my teeth down, hoping she'll take a hint.

"There's no need for the tone, darling." Dad steps in, taking me by surprise. I hate the feeling of being ganged up on. The churning becomes worse and I feel like I might be sick.

"I'm fine, Dad."

He raises an unconvinced eyebrow at me. "Than why don't you socialize?"

Kayla scoffs, "Yeah, like you do with all those Dauntless."

That's it.

Without thinking, I rise to my feet, my voice raising above everyone else.

"I'm so sick of this! Why can't you just leave me alone, for once!" I'm yelling now. Everyone around us stares but I take no notice to it. What's the worst they will do to me?

No one says anything but I watch as Kayla's expression becomes smug, like she has won a secret prize I know nothing about.

I could care less either way. I step away from the table, my blood boiling. As I walk away, everything turns into slow motion. All around me, people swivel their heads in my direction or whispering to one another. I avert my eyes from their suddenly harsh gazes.

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