Words as Weapons

Chapter 5

I lie my head on the dirty table. School has yet to start and yet I was already over and done with it. Wait, something doesn't feel right. What is this pain!!!??My leg!! I reached for my leg only to find out that my scars were bleeding again.. This hurts, this really REALLY hurts. I tried really hard not to let my face show what I was really feeling inside. "Umm are you okay?" Chris! I totally forgot he was sitting directly across from me. I look up at him. " Um, yeah I'm-I'm good do you want to get in line?" I look at the line and wish I didn't say that. The line was extremely long and I didn't have enough strength to stand and wait for food I didn't even want. I look around the cafeteria only to notice a lot of people hugging each other like they haven't seen each other in years. I wish that was me. Telling my friends about my fantastic summer and the amazing party that I totally went to- "Ugh!" I couldn't take this pain anymore. I went straight under the table and took my pain medication. I climb back up and saw Chris looking at me.. "What was that?" I have know idea what to tell him so I tried to sound cool and say what I just heard someone say "I'm mad, I see no fine ass females, just ugly hoes." I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT! He starts to laugh, hard, like it was really funny. I honestly didn't find anything funny about what I just said but I saw his reaction and he seems like he accepts my um, comment. As what seems like forever he finally talks. "Aye bruh you funny, let's get in line this is the shortest it's going to get before the bell rings." "Okay." I stand up very carefully. It seems that the medicine has not kicked in yet so I have to just man up. I thought of my father saying I needed to man up. "Look Alex, you are to feminine to be in this world. People like you don't survive in this world. You need to man the fuck up and stop acting like a pussy." I don't want to think of that conversation. I grab my food and walked toward the table with my stuff. Chris comes out of line and sit besides me. I smell the food and that was the end of my life. The food was rather putrid and I didn't want to die by eating this. I push my food away and wipe my face with my napkin. "Why aren't you eating? It's good!?" What is wrong with his nose, or taste buds. "Nah, I'm good I ate this morning." I had to lie, but hey, no matter what, I refuse to eat that. "What did you eat?" I had to think of something. I got it, it is the perfect comeback. "Your mothers pussy!!" Chris laughs and stretch his arm out. I shake his hand. "Yo, you are funny." The bell suddenly rings. "Let's go find out our homeroom." And like that I finally made a friend. It seems I started to gain a little self esteem.

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