Words as Weapons

Chapter 7

                   "You know boy or girl or whatever you are, you never was meant to amount to anything. I have no idea why you are even still living. No son of mine will be gay. I know exactly what I should do. I am going to have another child and I am personally going to make sure he doesn't turn out like the failure you were. For all I care I have no kids yet" "But father!?!" "WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

                     With every hit my father throw at me that day, this was worst. I thought going to a new school, no one would now the real me. I can pretend to be who I wanted to be, a straight guy. But now that she figured out and school hasn't even start yet was the worst news I could ever get in a lifetime. I can change schools and try again, this time being more convincing. I wanted to cry and just die right here in this spot. 

                     Without hesitation I finally spoke with such grief and desperation in my voice. I definitely was not the person she spoke to just a couple of minutes ago. "How did you-what do- I-I" She can really tell that I was so devastated and a ruin. She tugged me to a nearby bathroom. "It's okay. I have no intention of telling anyone else. Trust me..." That was a huge relief. She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear. "I'm here if you need anything my name is Carter. " I just wanted to cut myself and sit in a corner and listen to music and watch myself bleed. I tried my hardest not to cry. I was scared to trust anyone in this world and here I am about to put my total faith in this girl who seems to know about me. She smiled at me. "If you need anything come to me. I'm here if you need to talk to anyone" I just couldn't right now. The bell finally rung. "Come on let me walk you to class. We have the same homeroom. You might want to wipe your face before you come in class." I was crying? 

                     I follow her to my class. I look in the window in the door to notice Chris had an empty seat right beside him. Was he really saving me a seat? Carter and I walk in together. Some boys made monkey noises indicating that something happened between us which is the reason why we both was late to class. I sit in the seat next to Chris and Carter sat right beside me on the other side. I look around the classroom for a teacher but there was no one except us students. Chris leaned toward me. He smelled like a grown man. "What happened between you guys?" I didn't respond. I really just wanted to get this day over with like right now. But I didn't want it to look like I was just a lame person so I winked at him and let his imagination do the rest. I turned around to make sure Carter didn't see but she was too busy talking to some girl that was pregnant. I hear someone calling roll. Everyone name was being called from the back of the class. "Alex Anderson" "Here." "Carter Goulding" "Here" A few other names were called. "Chris Williams" "Yo."

                      I started to think. I had no choice but to trust Carter because at any giving moment she can out me. She has the power over my life. I look over in her direction. She seemed trustworthy. There was nothing to worry about, right? I look back and noticed a tall, muscular teacher standing right behind me "So you must be Alex huh? I heard quite a bit about you. If you need anything you can always come to me okay?" Something about the way he said that was weird but I didn't care. I just wanted to die. How can someone already know. I lay my head on my desk and ignored everyone. I just wanted to be alone.