Words as Weapons

Chapter 9

The next day wasn't any better. I tried to seem invisible by ignoring everyone which didn't help. Chris kept nudging me and telling me stuff that I would have to pretend to laugh at. Carter understood the fact that I didn't want to be bothered and decided to grab Chris attention by bending down in front of him which seemed to have worked. I was surprised but at the least I didn't care.
          Carter was trying to get me to trust her but I just couldn't. If she knew I was gay what else could she have known. Which got me thinking, does she know of my, umm surgery?!? No she couldn't have known. Only I and my parents know. Did my parents tell anyone! I can't keep doing this to myself; my anxiety was getting the best of me again.
        Day after day Carter would do something nice and go out of her way just for me. Chris and I would hang out and when my voice started to crack or I sounded feminine she would come to my rescue and make up an excuse. She obviously wanted me to trust her and she was doing all the right things.
       But I didn't want to trust her. I didn't want her in my life. I just wanted Chris and I to become good friends and that's it, no one else. No matter how much I tried to resist today I decided to text her. I had to trust her, she knew something about me that only a few knew.
          Sooner or later she could expose me and my luck will run out with her. I had to believe that this was the only way to avoid that ever happening. Right when I was about to hit send, I looked at my phone to see I didn't type anything. What was I going to say. I was so nervous because I didn't know how she would respond. She's so cool and suave and beautiful and just amazing in school what if she was different outside of school. I decided to just saying hey. My hands were trembling the whole time. I hit send and saw that my message had been delivered. All that I can do know is just wait. Just wait.