Project X ✔ [O L D V E R S I O N]

+ chapter twenty-nine +

Project X

All Rights Reserved

© 2015 Luna Black

~*~

A broken heart had different ways of healing. Some buried themselves in alcohol, others in sex or addictive activities, like gambling or drugs. Others sought for things that would remind them of what they lost and others searched for pain.

No matter what the person did; everyone had a different way of dealing with their broken heart.

There were a few lucky people who managed to heal their heart in a short amount of time. It all depended on what they loss and how important it was to them. And there were others who were not lucky at all and died with their broken heart or died because of their broken heart.

Finally, there were those who didn't feel much; they didn't feel pain or sadness. They just tormented themselves with what ifs and after an amount of time, those what ifs would disappear and the person was allowed a sense of relief.

Alexa was one of those people.

After her release from the hospital she was swarmed by love from those who cared for her and the pain from the loss of what could have been, slowly subdued. Her mind was so occupied by getting back into routine and opening up to the new things that her life as Queen had to offer, that she had very little time to think of what ifs.

But at night, when Xander would still be in his office trying to sort his duties out, she would place her hand over her stomach and wonder what could have been. She wondered what the gender of the baby was and she would ask herself what she would have wanted it to be.

If it was a boy, would it look and act like Xander? If it was a girl, would she be unlucky enough to have her mother's qualities?

At first she would break down in tears and beg the unborn child for forgiveness, but as weeks went by, she learned to forgive herself. She had forgiven Xander from the mouth out, but a part of her still resented his actions – and after she forgave herself, she was able to forgive him.

Maybe it was self-justification or maybe she was right, but if their child had been born at the point in life they were at, she didn't know how she would have cared for him. She was only twenty-two years old and she hadn't experienced life to the fullest.

In her mind, she wouldn't have learned to appreciate the little she had if she hadn't been reminded that it could be lost in the blink of an eye.

Xander provided her with anything she could ever desire and she forgot that with a snap of Fate's fingers, she could lose it all.

The loss of her child reminded her of that and she was grateful for everything she had. It was like a sudden emotion of happiness that she felt, as if a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders.

Alexa walked out from the shower, droplets of water running down her head and unto the carpet. She tightened the towel around her body and searched for a pair of underwear and a matching bra; she settled for black lace.

It wasn't a special occasion in her eyes. She was turning twenty-three and she would spend it in her living room watching reruns of The Mentalist.

She placed the towel on her bed to put on her undergarments and then walked over to her oval mirror to untangle her dripping wet hair. Her bright green eyes watched as droplets of water ran down her shoulders, over her collarbone and disappeared in the material of the bra.