One

Fourteen

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Ring.. Ring..

I jolted upward. Ugh! I slept on the table, now my neck hurts.

Riiiiing...

What the! I checked my phone and saw Bette calling.

"What?" I snapped.

"Ohoho! Good morning, babe. If I were you, I'd think twice before snapping at me. Otherwise, I will not give you your favorites and some perfumes, too"

"Wha—you're already back in town? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?" I looked at my watch, it's 3:30 AM. I groaned.

"Shhh! Babe, before I answer your questions, would you mind opening the door? Please? I've been standing here for 20 minutes already."

I shrieked and ran towards the door. My best friend whom I haven't seen in months is standing outside my door. She looked thinner yet she's still the drop dead gorgeous favorite person of mine.

"Babe!" I hugged her tight. I missed her so much.

"Hey there, snappy. Missed me?" She grinned and held out a plastic bag in front of me.

I pulled her inside the condo and hugged her again.

"Hmm.. right, you did miss me. I missed you too, sweet." Hugging me back. We then sat down at the sofa, "How are you?" she asked eyeing me carefully.

I averted my gaze, "I'm fine." I lied. I snatched the plastic bag and looked inside. I screamed in delight when I saw that inside were my comfort food and my favorite perfumes.

While I'm busy fumbling through her gifts, she suddenly snatched my hands, put down what I'm holding and looked at me intently.

"Jade.."

"No. Please, Babe.. I don't want to cry.. not again" I tried to move away but she held me tight.

"You told me you're family is coming. And I know that you will be pressured into marrying again, like it's a tradition already." I looked down preventing my tears to fall. "Jade, look.. I know that you haven't forgotten her, yet. Babe, look at me." I looked at her and my tears betrayed what I really feel inside.

"Sweetie, let it all out, that's why I'm here. You will never be able to hide from me. So, I'm here now. It's okay. Just go ahead and cry." I sobbed into her arms.

After a while, I stopped and looked at her. "I'm sorry, because of me you had to go back here"

"Shh! No. I'm here because you need me. I will never let you down, you know that."

"Thank you.. I really appreciate you being here now." I cleared my throat, "Uhm last night, I can't help it.. I uh, I.." I fidgeted on my seat.

"Did you watch it, again?" She asked gently.

I nodded my head, "Babe.. I miss her so much it hurts. I thought I am over her. Goddammit! It's been eleven years, for fuck sake! Yet I'm stuck, you know. I --I tried. I did try to move on and forget because I have to. I need to for my family. But damn! I hate this feeling." I stood up and paced back and forth.

"Jade, don't you think it's time for you to talk to your parents? You're not getting any younger, and it's high time for you to decide on your own. Why are you allowing them to rob you out of your happiness? Is eleven years not enough for you to sacrifice your feelings for Althea? If they truly love you, they will accept you and understand. Besides, even though you're a lesbian, you will still be their daughter. They just have to accept your happiness."

"I wish –I wish I could turn back the time. I should've fought her, babe. I shouldn't have allowed anyone to tell me what to feel and who to feel love with. I didn't plan it. I never told my heart to love another girl! It just came and then I found myself so consumed by this so called love that it didn't even matter if she's a SHE. But unfortunately, I was stupid enough to let her and our precious love go." Softly, I added, "After that, I have never been the same me. I always try to find her with all of my previous relationships. And the last time I had a boyfriend, I had to end it a month later because I don't want to pretend anymore, babe. I'd rather be alone than fooling someone into thinking that i'm in love with him. No. I've had enough. And now that mom and dad are coming, how will I explain? That I'd rather be single for forever? God, I --I don't know what to think or do anymore." Infuriated, I stopped and stood in front of Bette.

"Do you still love her?"

"God, Yes! I do. But eleven is years too long, Bette. For all we know, she's already married to another woman. Damn it! Just the thought makes me ugh!!! But I deserve it. I know I do." Fuming and upset at myself, I sat down on the opposite side crossed my arms into my chest and stared into nothingness. "She deserves to be happy, too. She may or may not have waited for me but a girl can only wait for too long." After a while, "I hate myself" I muttered.

"Babe.." She stood up and went to where I'm sitting.

I looked at Bette.

"What if..." She exhaled then held my hands, "What if I tell you I know where to find Althea.." All I could do is to stare at her with my mouth hanging open.