The Fall of Alexander the Great (Monteverde Series 3)

15

Chapter Fifteen

    I used to live with an irrational fear that everyone I care about will eventually leave. I used to convince myself that no one will really stay until the end. That thinking was proven wrong by my foster parents. When they took me in, they showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally. I thought I will be treated as an outsider in the family, but they treated me as if I was their own flesh and blood.

    When I was in highschool, I told a trusted friend that I was adopted. Being a total bitch, she told the entire class about it, and soon enough, everyone was teasing me. They told me I didn't belong.

    I came home crying, telling my mother and father that my classmates were right. My sister walked in on us, and even when she didn't know what was happening, she hugged me and told me I am the best sister anyone could ever ask for.

    Mom wiped away my tears.

    Dad said I am right where I need to be.

    I looked at Alexander and wondered... Is this where I need to be?

    "You've been zoning out for a while now, love." Bigla niya akong tinabihan sa bench na inuupuan namin kanina. Nakatupi hanggang siko ang puting long-sleeves niya na ngayon ay basang-basa na ng pawis dahil sa pakikipaglaro sa mga bata. Tiniklop ko kanina ang coat niya at inilagay ito sa tabi ko.

    "May naalala lang," saad ko bago kinuha ang bimpo sa bag ko. Napangiting lumapit siya lalo sa akin at walang kiyemeng pinunasan ko ang pawisan niyang mukha.

    "Kuya Xander, alam ko baby lang ang pinupunasan ng pawis. Bakit pati ikaw pinupunasan ni Ate Blythe? Malaki ka naman na." Nakatingin sa amin ang pitong taong gulang na batang kahabulan niya kanina. I never thought that he likes kids. I must admit, he has a way with them. Nakapalagayan niya agad ng loob ang mga bata.

    "Oo nga naman. Hindi ka naman baby." Lumapit na rin ang batang si Weng.

    "Baby ako ng Ate Blythe niyo. Diba, love?" Naningkit ang mata ko. I made a face instantly. Feeling ko namumula na pati ang tainga ko ngayon dahil sa sinabi niya.

    "Baby mo siya, Ate?" pagkumpirma nito.

    "Hindi ah!" Kinurot ko ang tumatawang si Alexander. "Tigil-tigilan mo akong damuho ka." I was about to smack his arm, but he caught my hand. He intertwined our fingers and raised our hands in the air.

    "Mga bata, tignan niyo, patay na patay talaga sa 'kin ang Ate Blythe niyo at ayaw niyang bitawan ang kamay ko." Naghagikgikan ang mga bata. Lumapit sa amin ang isang nine-year-old na babaeng binansagang Lyn nina Sister Gertrude.

    "Kuya Xander, gusto mo pa rin po ba si Ate kahit magpakulay po siya ng pink?"

    "Aba'y oo naman, Lyn." Kahit alam kong posibleng sinasabi niya lang ito para sakyan ang mga bata ay nasisiyahan parin ako.

    "Kapag po red, gusto niyo pa rin si Ate?" tanong nito uli.

    "Oo."

    "Paano po kapag yellow o kaya green?" asked little Tina while pouting at us. Alexander laughed wholeheartedly. He stared at Tina as if he was amused with her. Naramdaman ko ang marahang pagpisil niya sa kamay ko na hanggang ngayon ay hawak niya pa rin.

"Kahit puti na ang buhok ng Ate Blythe niyo ay gusto ko pa rin siya."

    Ang mga bata ay tuwang inasar kami sa isa't isa habang ako ay halos mabingi na sa lakas ng paghuhuramentado ng buong sistema ko. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak niya sa kamay ko at pagtingin ko sa kanya ay nakangiti lang siya sa 'kin.

    He looked more handsome when he cracks a smile, even a small one.

    "Kuya Xander, sana lagi ka ring dumalaw sa amin!" He approached the little boy, Cris, and patted his shoulder.

    "Yes, bibilhan ko kayo ng mga laruan. You guys want that, right?" All of the kids beamed. They huddled close and hugged his legs.

    "Salamat po ng marami!"

    Natatawang lumuhod siya para makapantay niya ang mga ito. Sinugod siya ng mga ito ng yakap. He tried his best to wrap his arms around all of them.

    "Group hug!" sigaw ng isa sa pinakamatanda sa kanila, si Jof na kinse anyos na.

    "Ate Blythe, sali ka!" I wrapped my arms around the kids, but then I felt a strong arm around me, too. For the first time in my entire existence, I felt truly secure. Aliw na aliw kaming dalawa ni Alexander sa kanila. He looked genuinely happy about spending time with the kids.

"Mahilig ka pala sa mga bata."

"Surprised?"

"Oo."

"I'm a walking mystery."

    "A walking mystery, huh?" I parroted. The corner of his lips curved upwards, but his smile disappeared as fast as it surfaced.

    "There's more to me than what you perceive, than what most people perceive. People are quick to judge. Alam kong iniisip niyo na wala akong emosyon, hindi ako reactive, wala akong pakialam sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko." He sighed. "But I do care."
    I felt guilty deep down. He's right. I have never thought of him being capable of commiseration or compassion. I have judged him since the first day I met him and I'm not proud of it. Looking back, I feel ashamed about the bad thoughts I had about him before.

    "I..." I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to say something that will lighten things up, but I choked back the words.

    "Don't apologize. It's okay. I chose to put high walls around me, because the more people know about you, the more exposed you are, the more power they have to destroy you."

    I held his hand because it felt like the right thing to do. "Not always."

    "I know." The corners of his eyes crinkled as he beamed. Naputol ang pag-uusap namin nang lumapit si Kyla. Bago lang siya rito, siguro'y magtatatlong buwan pa lang, at ubod siya ng mahiyain. She was turned over by a distant relative na hindi na siya kayang alagaan dahil sa kahirapan. Madalas ay tahimik lang siyang naglalaro sa isang sulok.

    "Hi!" Alexander waved at her and she looked at him with adorable wide eyes as she sucked on her thumb. "Ako si Alexander. Ano'ng pangalan mo?"

    "Kyla..." she replied. "Kamukha mo 'yung Papa ko. Kaso, wala na siya."

    "Oh." I explained to Alexander that Kyla's family died in the fire and she was the only who survived. She had burns on her legs that have long healed, but just like what I told Alexander earlier, kids here have stories to tell, and I hated how this tragic story will always be etched in her mind even when she grows old.

    "Come here." Lumapit ito sa kanya at kinarga niya ito. "Well, puwede mo akong tawaging Papa kung gusto mo."

    "Talaga po?"

    "Mmm-hmm." He mussed her hair gently. "At ikaw ang baby girl ko."

    Naantig ang puso ko habang pinanonood silang dalawa. Tumingin sa akin si Kyla. "Puwede rin po ba kitang tawaging Mama, Ate Blythe?" Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya pero tumango rin naman agad.

    "Oo naman!" Hinalikan ko siya sa pisngi.

    "Ikaw ang pinaka-magandang Mama sa buong world," she said.

    "Ikaw naman ang cutest na baby girl sa buong universe."

    "Paano ako?" sabat ni Alexander.

    "Ikaw ang pinaka-annoying."

    Sabay kaming natawa ni Kyla na ikinasimangot niya.