Chapter Eighteen

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"I miss you already," Harry said quietly into the phone. 

"You've been gone for like, four days," Louis smiled, "Calm down, Curly." 

"I know, but you were hungover when I left and I haven't really seen you since we became... you know... boyfriends?" Harry was shy as he said the last word, as though he were scared of breaking some sort of spell. 

"I know, hun, I gotta step up my game... take you on a proper date and all that." 

"Mhmmm," Harry said, blushing a little bit. He picked at a loose thread in his sweater and bit his lip a little. He lived for the sound of Louis' voice... something in it made him feel all wobbly and nervous, but in a good way. He felt warmer when he was listening to Lou, like the feeling you got when you were sitting next to a cozy fireplace cuddled up in your favourite old quilt from when you were younger. 

"So what's it like being back at home?" Louis asked, "First time back from school's always the weirdest." 

"It's fine," Harry said. "A bit strange to come home to my old bedroom being just like I left it," he admitted, "It's like some part of me was just frozen in time or something." Harry looked over at where his box of old high school assignments and notebooks sat, slowly gathering dust in the corner. 

"Yeah," Louis said, "I know that feeling. My mum just left me room like it was when I was seventeen... I swear it's like a museum or something." 

Harry bit his cheek when Louis' said 'me' instead of 'my'. He knew the older boy was just from a different part of England that was probably only a few hours away, but the little differences in his accent charmed Harry every single time.

"So I was thinking I might get a new tattoo," Harry said, smiling to himself, even though Louis couldn't see him over the phone. He clutched his pillow to his chest, aching to be close to Louis, as though hearing him weren't enough. 

"Yeah?" Lou asked. "What are you getting?" 

"I think maybe," Harry started, "I think maybe, like, a rose? Is that stupid? I just, I just kind of... there was this... I just... um, it'd just look nice, I reckon," he stammered, trailing off a little. Part of him wanted to explain why he was getting it, but a bigger part of him knew it wasn't the kind of thing you could explain over the phone. Harry didn't even know if the rose was something he could explain if he had Louis sitting right there on his too small twin bed, looking at him with patient blue eyes... didn't know if his dad was something he even wanted to bring up with Louis ever, when he'd already let Louis in on too many of his problems. 

Sometimes Harry felt like he were just standing in pieces in front of Louis. He didn't need to be put back together or anything, but he still didn't like the idea of Lou seeing him like that. Harry wanted to pretend to be full and happy and bursting with life like Louis was. Not splintered and fractured and held together with shaking breaths and trembling hands. 

"It sounds beautiful, love," Louis said simply. "It'll look so pretty on you. You can tell me all about it sometime later, okay?"

"Okay," Harry agreed. "It's so weird talking on the phone with you," Harry giggled. "I'm used to you being down the hall from me." 

"I know, babe, it's lonely here, like two exchange students stayed during the break but everyone else is gone now. The whole campus is a ghost town, feels like I'm the only one here." 

"Do you miss me?" Harry asked coyly. 

"Mhmm... course I do," Louis murmured. 

"I like listening to your voice..." Harry said, his voice getting softer, but his heart beating furiously, stuttering against his ribcage. 

"Yeah, love?" Louis asked. "Like my voice nice and quiet right by your ear, hm? Like having me this close, babe?" 

"Mhmmm," Harry murmured, his eyes fluttering closed. He felt a warmth spreading into his lower tummy and he bit his lip, sucking on his lip ring. "Mmm, Lou, I can't stop thinking about-" 

"Hey, did you want any hot cocoa?" 

Harry literally shrieked, his phone slipping out of his hand and he shot up in bed. 

"Jesus, Gem, you can't just burst in like that... shit." Harry scrambled to find his phone that was lost in his covers somewhere. 

"Oh my God, what did I interrupt?" Gemma asked, setting the hot cocoa on Harry's dresser as she watched her younger brother frantically search for his phone. 

Harry blushed furiously when he found his phone, pressing it up to his ear, his cheeks blazing red. "I um, I have to go my sister, like, family time and... yeah, I'll text you? Alright... bye." 

Harry hung up the phone. He reached out for the mug and sipped on his hot chocolate, not making eye contact with his sister. 

"Who were you talking to?" Gemma asked, her eyebrows raised. 

"I uhh, there's just this guy," Harry admitted, not making eye contact with Gem. 

"I didn't interrupt your phone sex, did I?" 

"Gem." Harry said, his eyes widening in shock.  

"Sorry," Gemma laughed. She sat cross legged on the edge of Harry's bed. "So tell me about this mystery man." 

Harry sighed, and decided that if him and Louis were something now that probably meant he'd have to start telling people soon. Harry always felt a little uncomfortable with sharing good news, it made him anxious that something would go wrong with it if he talked about it. 

"I'm kind of seeing this guy Louis?" Harry said. And his sister looked over at him patiently and let him slowly stumble out the whole story as the two of them sipped on their hot cocoa. 

His mom came in a little while later with a Scrabble board, and Harry spent the rest of the night laughing with his family over what counted as a word. Apparently 'vibey' didn't count, even though Lou used it all the time. 

Harry changed into his comfiest pajamas and crawled into bed shortly after midnight. He pulled out his phone and lowered the brightness, texting Louis a quick 'I miss you' before laying down next to the phone, trying not to fall asleep until he heard his phone vibrate. 

L: Miss you too, you in bed now? 

H: mmmhhhfmmmmm

L: aww sounds like someones tired

H: no mmm just a bit sleeepy lou

L: yeah? you all tucked in? 

H: yeah wish you were hereee though louis

L: I know hunny, just close your eyes okay? I'll be there when you fall asleep, alright? I'll come and curl up with you, promise. 

Harry's eyes shut one more time and he was too tired to open them this time. Logically, of course Louis wasn't going to take a train a few hours to Harry's house and come and cuddle with him, but a very small part of him kept his eyes firmly shut hoping that the older boy would slip into his bed with him, wrap his curvy body against Harry's and protect him from every scary thing that Harry saw at night. 

As much as he knew Louis was just texting sweet nothings, the bed did feel warmer that night, and when Harry finally drifted off, he dreamed of strong arms pulling him closer and tracing little constellations across his scars until they all faded off his skin. 


A/N: So I've been off here for a while (got sick, life was chaos) sorry this felt like it took forever!

SO OPINIONS ON THE LOUIS PREGNANCY SITUATION I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TO TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS I'M SO FREAKING LOST

Anyway, I should have an update in a few days? :) 




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