The College Experience [Larry Stylinson boyxboy]

Chapter Twenty Eight

*Trigger Warning: binge eating*

Louis sat in front of his laptop, staring at the article he was supposed to be analyzing. All the words seemed to swim together. He didn't know what the fuck the article was about anymore, but he felt like he'd read it at least six times, the words bouncing off him and refusing to sink in. He needed something, he felt ready to come out of his own skin, squirming in his desk chair. He reached into the box of biscuits he had on his desk, and his fingertips brushed the cardboard at the bottom. It was empty. 

Louis felt his stomach drop, and he quickly tossed the box onto the floor where it landed among empty bags of chips, paper bags that used to be stuffed full of glazed doughnuts and sticky cinnamon rolls from the bakery, finished boxes of cheese crackers, a pizza crust, and a large array of candy bar wrappers he'd gotten from the vending machine. Maybe if he didn't look at them, he could pretend it didn't happen. 

Louis' door swung open, and he felt a lurch of panic. He wasn't ready to face anyone right now. He must have forgotten to lock his door after his last trip to the vending machine.  

Harry bounded into the room, an absolute sunbeam of energy, his curls looking perky and his green eyes so large and round, Louis sometimes swore he was dating a cartoon. 

"What are you doing here?" Louis asked, still starting at his laptop.

"I finished my last exam this morning!" Harry smiled, glowing and pretty and practically bouncing with happiness. "You said we'd go out to celebrate-"

"Why the fuck would I agree to that, Harry? I have a paper due tomorrow," Louis said, not even looking up at his boyfriend. 

"Um, okay, maybe we could reschedule or something?" Harry offered. "Did you want any help with your paper?" 

"Yeah I'm just gonna get a first year Psychology student to help me with my fourth year Journalism paper. Great fucking idea, babe. Why don't you just write my English exam while you're at it? Since you clearly know everything. Although apparently, no one ever taught you to knock before you come into someone's room like a decent human being," Louis said. He wanted to stop talking, but his mouth was running on fear, and stress, and shame and he couldn't. He glared at the computer screen before deleting a large section of his paper, slamming his fingers into the backspace button loud enough that it punctured the festering silence in the room. 

"Stop it," Harry finally said. "I know you're stressed but just... just take a breath okay?" He took few steps closer to his boyfriend, headed toward his bed to sit down, when he felt the crinkle of wrappers underneath his bare feet. "Where did all these come from?" Harry asked, curiously, picking up some of the empty wrappers and boxes. "Your room was pretty clean when I was over the other day." Realization moved across Harry's face slowly. "They aren't all from today, are they?" He asked cautiously. 

"No, they're not all from today- God! I wouldn't do that," Louis lied, biting the inside of his cheek. 

"Lou, it's okay," Harry said, reaching around Louis to try and hug him, but Louis shrugged off his touch.  "You're just stressed," Harry said quietly, sitting cross legged on Louis' unmade bed. "You're really really stressed right now and it's okay. Just don't take it out on me, it's never okay to talk to me like that. It's not going to happen again." 

"I'm sorry," Louis whispered, finally making eye contact with Harry. His eyes were rimmed with a dark burgundy purple from lack of sleep, like someone had splashed watercolours under the thin skin beneath his turquoise eyes. They were watering a little, like a shallow ocean, waiting for the ebb and flow of the tide to spill over. 

"And don't take it out on yourself either," Harry added, moving closer to Louis, reaching out to touch him again, to rub his arm soothingly, get him to take his shaky hands off his laptop. 

The tide spilled over and Louis' shoulders started shaking, as his lashes flickered trying to blink away the tears. "I'm not smart enough to be in fourth year," he said, and Harry tried to get him up out of his desk chair, to sit down on the bed with him, but Louis didn't want to move. "Have to keep working," he mumbled, swiping angrily at his eyes. 

Harry looked up at him with all the sympathy in the world, moving his hands down to rub Louis' tummy gently, hoping to soothe the nausea and discomfort that he could see Louis was feeling. "Let's just take a moment, Lou, okay?" 

"Don't touch me there!" Louis cried out, pushing Harry's hands away. "I'm disgusting," he sobbed. "Fuck," he muttered, clutching his belly. "It hurts." 

"I know it does, love," Harry said softly. "You just need to let it settle a little bit and you'll feel better in a few hours. Promise." 

Louis held onto his swollen tummy, and bit his lip so hard it looked painful."I want it gone now," Louis whispered. 

"I know, but we're just gonna wait a little bit longer and then you'll feel so much better, alright? It'll go away on it's own, you don't need to do anything, Lou. Please don't do anything." Harry tried to think of how he could comfort his boyfriend when he kept rejecting his touches. He settled for gently running his fingers through Louis' hair, which he seemed to be okay with. 

"Need to keep working," Louis sniffled. 

"Okay, then tell me about the article, Lou," Harry said soothingly as Louis dried his eyes a little. "What did you think about it?" 

Louis babbled a little bit about a few different points in the article where the writing was too weak or too biased, gave some opinions on how it could have been styled better, while Harry dutifully typed out notes, handing back Louis' laptop when he was done. 

"I know it's not finished yet, but here's everything you told me in point form," Harry said. "I made one section for things you wanted to change and things you liked. I don't know how to make a proper analysis paper, but you're a lot closer to being finished than you think you are, you've typed out almost everything we talked about, you really just need to add these two point to tie it all together, I think. And I looked over your intro paragraph, and everything looks great. When is this due?" 

"Tomorrow," Louis said, "Tomorrow at lunch time." 

"Okay," Harry said, "Okay that means you have plenty of time to take a nap, right? It's only seven. I'll wake you up at eight when you're feeling better and we'll get this done." 

Louis sniffled a little, and crawled into his bed, under the covers, tossing off a few food wrappers that were hiding in his sheets. Harry smoothed his hair away from his forehead, and let Lou settle into his bed, curling up in the sheets. Harry couldn't tell if he was sleeping or just resting, but he stayed quiet just in case, gathering up all the food scraps and wrappers off the floor, off his bed, off his desk, and stuffing them all into a garbage bag. 

Harry woke the older boy up an hour later. 

"Hi," Louis murmured sleepily. 

"Hi," Harry said quietly. 

"I really love you you know?" Louis said. "I love you a whole lot and I'm really sorry for all this." 

"It's okay," Harry said. "I love you too." 

"Can you cuddle with me?" Louis asked, a little shyly. 

"Of course." 

"Are you mad at me?" Louis asked, as Harry gently wrapped his arms around him. 

"Little bit," Harry whispered. 

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, love," Louis said, hooking his pinky finger around Harry's. "Promise."