Monsters (Big Bang fanfiction)

Wednesday May 13th 2015

Hey, journal. 

I screwed up. I mean, everything went fine but in the end, I still screwed up. Badly. I still see Seungri, I mean young Seunghyun's* glare in my mind and I can't find sleep. I wish I could apologize to my favorite panda-maknae but he wouldn't let me even after my fifth attempt that evening. 

  *I asked them if I should call them by their first names and they told me they didn't care. As for me, it doesn't make any difference. "What's in a name? A rose is a rose and it still smells good" like someone said. Or something like that o_O

Last time I wrote, it was early in the morning as we spent the night in the municipal park (the buildings I thought belonged to another city turned out to just be the opposite district of where my mum and her boyfriend live :-/). 

However, as they took the occasion to train a little in the park, they managed to teach me a few good close-combat moves before sleep, with Taeyang being the teacher and the others followed. They were all so different then! When Taeyang was in charge, everyone would do as he says and eat humble pie whenever he corrected their moves or called them to order. He himself looked so changed! So serious and methodic! He would even manipulate me like a puppet to correct my position without neither blushing nor looking at his shoes at any moment! That is until I smiled at him and for a second, shy Taeyang was back ^^ 

In the end, it became my training alone as a few young girls and guys who were passing by encouraged me while I tried to punch Taeyang and he would counter all my moves with one hand behind his back without breaking a sweat. When I finally managed to punch him in the stomach (and almost broke my fingers in the process T_T) I whooped as he grinned, having barely felt a thing yet the small crowd that had gathered around us cheered :D I'll never be scared of walking alone in the streets late at night ever again! Well, a little less scared, at least. I can defeat rats and midgets with my bare hands now :P 

Today, when we came back in our district at dusk, Joseph and the militaries were gone, either because they had given up or because they probably started to look suspicious to the neighbors. We entered the building, climbed up the six floors and crashed as soon as we went inside. Again, sounds like a flashback of the first night. The boys had decided to spend that time finishing their night but I chose not to and summed up that beautiful Tuesday on my computer while taking a peek at their exhausted sleepy heads from my door from time to time. They looked so peaceful ^^ However, when they woke up a few hours later, Daesung didn't get up from the couch where he was sleeping. The others tried to taunt him and incite him to get up but when he turned his face and they saw he was awake and breathing weakly, they stopped right away and brought me to the living-room. As I checked on him, his eyes were barely open and his lips were forming words every time he would breathe out. The others said his words were incoherent and that he did not seem to listen to them or even hear them. He was delirious. His teeth were shattering yet, as I touched his brow to check, he did not have a fever. We carried him to my room as I laid him on the bed and covered him with a blanket. There, he stopped mumbling and fell asleep, or rather fainted while lying down. His hands were full of red patches too. Could it be another effect from the SB detox? Should we have called a doctor? 

As we discussed it together, the interphone rang. I knew that Mum and Kwan were supposed to be back either today or tomorrow so when I heard it, I felt a little nervous knowing that now was the time to explain them how we blew up half of their living-room and the window of their bedroom. But when I looked at the screen, I didn't see anybody and when I picked up the phone, I didn't recognize Mum's voice. 

 "Joan, it's me. I'm back." 

I identified the man's voice immediately.

"Hello, Joseph." I said sternly as he appeared on the little screen.