Why Screenshot? | Catthew

" 4

2009

"Mom?" I sigh. It's hard to see her unhappy. I don't like it because I am already unhappy myself. This is my last year in elementary and were like back to the start. I am forced to say goodbye to my friends. "I'm okay Hun."

-

Today is my graduation! I sit in the crowd with all my fellow classmates. "Yay. I will miss you guys. We need to stay friends." It's like déjà vu as I say that to them. I look around, noting seeing my own family- well my mom, dad, and babysitter. It makes me nervous.

They start to call names and as my last name starts with 'E' I am the first set of kids who has to line up before getting my name called.

"Matthew Lee Espinosa" my own teacher calls me. I walk across the stage, get my diploma and shakes my teachers hand with a smile, like we rehearsed. One thing I am especially looking out for is my family. I don't see them.

Walking down the stairs I let a tear drop from my eye as I go sit back down with the class. I don't let these feelings get to me and still continue to clap for everyone, even the other classes with other students.

As soon as the handing out of diplomas were done, we all walk as a pair to the back of the auditorium and leave the building. I catch contact with my mom as I run to her.

"Mom!" I smile hugging her. "So proud Matty." She smiles. I let go of her and started looking around, "Hello E!" My baby sitter applauds me. "Love you. We will keep making more memories." She smiles. I look around wondering, only looking for one thing. "Where's dad?" she gives me a disapproving look and I know not to go on. Sigh.

They're making me really sad right now. I love my mom and dad. I think my dad is leaving me. Just like Carter did.

We have a small lunch before my mom says she has to go back to work. During the whole time my mom tells me there are so many things about middle school that I will like. This whole time I was holding a happy smile but inside I know that I am keeping so much negative things.

"I love you so much okay." She kisses my cheek and walks out the door. I am alone again. But I am hungry.

So, lately my mom has been busy with work. She won't tell me why. At one point we had to give up E, our baby sitter, but knowing how tough things are going E said she'll work for free but less, she's become family more than a care taker.

I started to rummage for boxes to place my six grade letter in a safe place, so in the future these will be cherished very nicely. I find something wrapped in bubble wrap, as I open it, I see the initials "CR" on a letter. When I open it I see a few letters along with some bracelets and stickers. I take time to think about these items. My memory goes blankly towards my first best friend, Carter Reynolds.

This letter was actually hidden in the tshirt of a teddy bear that I received from Carter the day he, well left. It read,

Oh Matthew Espinosa. This is relly tuff. I dont know how life will be when we live far away from eachother. I actully new the week i lived at ur hous for a little but i had to keep it a secret im sowwy matt. that i lied when i said i dednt know where i wod be leafing 2. but i love you. i will miss you best friend, so much. i will keep ur moms number forever. - carter xx

Here I sit with tears flooding my eyes, although, the poor spelling coming from my seven year old friend makes my heart warm. I wonder how Carter is doing right now. Surely, his life is doing great and I am positive he is a better writer now. He was so smart when I knew him. He was my best friend that would never be replaced.

I am going to middle school now, I won't replace him. One day he will come back to me.

These dreadful thoughts keep me crying to sleep to the point where I am not sure if I am breathing right now. I just want someone to hold and tell me that I am not going to loose anymore people.

I hug my teddy bear and look out the sky. I talk to the moon. "Hi Carter. No matter where we are, I know were looking up at the same sky. You shouldn't be too far. Mom is out at work right now, I was crying over you after we had lunch at 3. E has college classes. I don't think my dad loves us anymore. So, here I am talking to you, surely you are listening. Right?"

I am such a child at heart and in the mind. I believe Carter is still here with me. But gosh why am I talking like he is dead, because I know my best friend is not.

He moved away.

-

Mom is home, I hear her. I need to wipe away these tears but I sense it is too late. She walks in. Sees me. She walks out. I sigh and hide myself under my blanket. I hear footsteps coming toward my door again, the light ray coming form the hallway flashes my back. The door slowly closes.

"Love you mommy, love you daddy, love you E, and I love you Carter." I whisper at myself looking at the stars.

Why did he move away.

+

I realized I should of made this a Carter POV book instead bc chillcarter is a Carter account SIGHH I WANT THEM TO SWITCH ROLES NOW. but I have fun surprises for Carter's character that suit Cater more than Matt.

Anyways if people have book idea requests, I would love to start more books. :-)

I have a ton & don't making more.

[ July 13 1:20 pm ]