Why Screenshot? | Catthew

" 5

It's a new week. Supposedly McCoy said he'll see me 'next week' so... I guess Monday will be something, I hope.

Friday was weird. I didn't have Taylor during lunch but I kind of caught up with some old friends so it didn't leave me as lonely as I would of thought so. Oh as for Taylor, I saw him in the band room with that Shawn Mendes guy. He was probably as quiet as I was. It was weird for Taylor considering his ex was a socially wild football player with many aspirations. And back to what I was saying, I had company from my old friends.

During the weekend I didn't talk to Taylor at all. Instead McCoy started talking to me. I guess he's suppose to be a new student coming back to the city. He's been here before but doesn't want to show his face because he wants to surprise me. I don't know this whole deal. I mean he knows me but I don't know him? Also, he's from Florida.

Sometimes little thoughts come into my mind about my childhood, but I can't completely remember it. All I mainly remember is the big things but nothing to major. I know I had a best friend before Taylor, don't know what happened to him. I know I had an amazing babysitter up until she went to college- don't even know her name. Then my dad left, don't know why either. Everyone leaves and as its a shame to say, I know Taylor will too.

But yeah, my weekend was filled with old friends and McCoy. I am actually excited to see him soon. He'll be a new student and I promised to welcome him in. I connected with him really easily. Like we have became friends before. Everything with him was a breeze, he was like my second Taylor. At least now with Shawn taking away Taylor, McCoy will be my replacement.

Today I had to go wash my clothes. I would wash it upstairs, in mom's home, but I don't want to see my steps since my mom was out getting a pedicure. I'd rather spend money than knock on the door and be like, "Hey dad. Can I wash my clothes."

So I left. I grabbed my teddy bear and went loaded my two baskets into the car and put him in the passenger seat. Technically, I only had a permit but my mom says if it involves me having a lot of things on my shoulders I can go. This is why I brought my bear, it gives me security and luck. I trust it for some odd reason. Weird right, to trust a stuffed animal with my middle name.

Someone gave it to me when I was young. Not too sure but I know it was a boy, some young friend.

When I got there, I put my clothes in the wash and dispensed seven quarters. My bear was aside from me as I sat on a bench waiting to waste time. Later on, it was time to dry them, no need to get into detail besides the fact that I had to use one washer and an extra one to dry one shirt. I was wearing a long sleeve but it got hot in here.

I took off my shirt while hearing awkward footsteps. Someone is passing by me while I have a bare body, insecure.

"You dro- ohhmy sorry." He acted like he was ashamed when I could see he was smirking behind the hand he used to cover his face. I walked toward him, "Thanks." I took the boxers off his hands and threw it near my bear. "Oh..." he sighed. "Yes?"

He came closer to me and examined my bear. "I had one like that." I smiled and held tight to it. I know we're both teenagers but I'm acting like a little kid that doesn't want his toy stolen- it means a lot to me me. "Can I see it?" I really don't want to but the look in his eyes were really needed that I had to inch my arms out and let him have a go. "It was given to me by someone so please... be gentle." He slowly picked it up by the paw, scrutinizing the texture of it, how it was a nice light brown with a maroon shirt that said forever. "Funny because.. I gave this to someone. Even has my initials on the inside of the bear's shirt tag."

I remained silent. Someone gave this to me, unless they bought it at some garage sale and passed it down to me.

"I gave it to Matthew Lee Es-"

"...pinosa."

We both held one of the paws as our eyes drew into the same contact. I held the gaze as I looked over every aspect of him.

"You're Matt?" His lips smiling from ear to ear. "Yes... CR?" It was sad to know that I didn't know much. "Carter Reynolds." He whispered. "You don't remember me?" I feel terrible but I really don't know who this is. I see him sighing and placing the bear down on the counter.

There was a small alarm.

"Those are my dry clothes. Gotta go." He frowned and walked off. A part of me wanted to chase after him and ask who but something said to let it be. If I didn't remember him then what a shame oh well.

My clothes were done and due to awkwardness, I didn't want to fold them here. I saw that same guy on my way out, and damn it this awkward bad luck, this time he was the one to drop his boxer on the floor. "Pst..." I waved my hand in front of his car. "Came to tell me you miss me?" He grinned. "No." His smile dropped. "But you dropped these." I tossed it to him and he gladly caught it.

"Bye C..uhm- Carter!" He started his ignition and reversed with a small wave.

Immediately as I got in the car I drove all the way home 90 in a 55. (JJ lyrics ref lol). I see my moms other car in the driveway where this one had once been parked.

"Hey mom." I knocked on the door waiting for approval to step inside the house. "Hey Hun. Glad of you to visit. Dinner isn't ready yet." About that, I make my own food downstairs but this is the part she gets sensitive on, even though I have my own lifestyle in the basement, she insists that I have to eat dinner with them. I only grab my food and leave though because I can't stand Walter, the step dad or whatever shit. (lol drake & josh!)

"Oh I just came here to ask one question." I pull the bear from behind my back and hold it proudly in front of my chest like I'm displaying it to her. She looks like she's about to tear up, or puke. I'm not sure, her lips are tucked in and she's squinting. "Didn't know you still had that, dear." I furrowed my eyebrows smiling, "Indeed I do." I tapped my toes. "You were saying son." Like honestly, it's very weird and a hard question to ask. "Okay mom, do you know anyone named Carter?"

Her smile sinked and her face wrinkled before coming to me and embracing me in a tight abundance. "Of course I do. I was wondering if you still missed him! I never wanted to bring it up baby." I pushed her back a little. Who the hell is Carter Reynolds. "Who is he?" Once again, looking at me with despair.

"He was your childhood best friend. He gave that to you. You don't remember him? Last time I remember, I held you asleep as you cried about loosing your best friend." I felt completely lost as memories flooded my mind. "Carter Reynolds.." I whisper to myself bringing my bear to my heart.

"Why the sudden come up?" She asked. It was hard to admit. "I saw him today. He knew me. I feel terrible for not knowing him." It hurts in all honesty. It's pretty much like me seeing my dad again and having him tell me, "Sorry I don't remember you." I gave my mom a weak smile before leaving, the idea that I just might never see him again. "Oh baby."

Later on that night I heard a knock, strangely, I thought it was Taylor coming from the low key shed door but it was the actual house door. I walked up the stairs only to be welcomed by my mom. She had a piece of cake in her hand. "This was you and Carter's favorite recipe from mommy. You've always wanted have that moment of reuniting. I'm sorry it turned out completely wrong. Maybe it just wasn't faith, or right for you guys to come back." I accept the cake.

"You know... when you told me earlier.. Carter, old friends. I remembered something you told me. If you love them... set them free. If they come back... You know." I paused. "But this time, he came back. And I lost him again." holding back my tears for a brief moment I continued, "I let him go. It wasn't right. He wasn't mine in the first place."

I sighed and smashed my face into the cake, tasting the bittersweet moment- and a little salt from the tears. My moms hand rubbed my back. "You lost so much. The last thing you need to loose is sleep. Goodnight."

After she left, my phone got a notification.

FloridaMcCoy is typing...

Ever have that moment where you thought something meant so much to you but... ugh.

[ July 13 ]