Why Screenshot? | Catthew

"8

"So you think Matthew is cute?" Sammy asked me poking at my chest. I gave him a little smirk. "Dude, this was the guy I grew up with. He's hot! Talk about 'glo up' like he was always an odd, innocent kid. And now just wow.. How his hair just falls over his face-- it's such a nice color, and that jaw line I swear, he can be fruit ninja."

"You don't like him for just his looks do you? You've gotta stop. He doesn't even seem like he likes you." Sammy gloated. I didn't care what he thought. "Well during the party I'll make him like me."

I walked away from him as we looked for some more groceries to stock up our house for the next few days and during the party. It had me thinking about matt now that Sammy pointed it out, does he really not like me? Matt.. how do you just hate your old friend so suddenly.

Of the times I've sent him snapchats, he's been screenshoting them, it must mean something for him to want to save my photos like that.

•

This day was the two days later of when Matt tried to get our schedules but then you know it didn't happen.

So now we're staring school.

I see Taylor so we walk over to him. "Hey Taylor, hi Shawn." Sammy likes Taylor's energy a lot. I think they could get along very well but then there's Shawn in the way. Shawn seems like he doesn't go well with Taylor. I really don't see them together. If anything, he's suitable with Matt. But then again, people say opposites attract, which takes me back to the idea of 'Matthew and Carter' being perfect.

"Party tomorrow guys!" Sammy shouted as Taylor high fived him. "Anyone know where Matt is?" I sighed really wanting to just be around him. We do have a lot of empty gaps in our friendship and I'm dying to get to know him more. "Oh, in the mornings he would typically be in a classroom. I told him I'd be with Shawn. Wanna go to him?" Taylor announced.

And see, we have Taylor. Like he was my replacement while I wasn't here for Matt. I like this guy and all but I feel so fucked up for not getting to see my best friend grow up. I hope Matt didn't get too attached to Taylor because he seems a little neglected, I wonder how long Shawn's been around because if Taylor had Shawn all this time, matt must feel so third wheel.

====

I was crying in my teachers classroom. I would typically go here before class starts. Right now she told me she was getting coffee and going to the restroom so I started to put my hood on and droop my head into my arms.

I was upset about school, upset about not having time for sports, upset that Taylor is leaving me for Shawn. I'm even upset that I think Carter and Sammy like Taylor more than they like me. I'm loosing friends and the only person who does seem to care is Shawn.

He oddly texted me the other day, aside from ranting about Taylor but we actually communicated. He thought Taylor and I were something but I clarified that I'm not looking for a relationship. And I even remember Shawn saying, "His friends are my friends." And yeah, I'm glad Shawn is my friend now.

But I'm still crying in this empty classroom. I spoke too soon though because I heard the door creak. These weren't full on tears just some watery eyes so I worked up the way to clear my eyes real fast.

"There you are Matt!" Sammy screamed across the whole class when I turned around. "Wait? You're by yourself.. you said someone was going to be with you Matt." Taylor questioned and I wanted to roll my eyes. I'm always alone when I don't have Taylor.

Carter stared at me, and it wasn't like how the other guys looked at me. "Guys, can you like... leave. Give us some?.." His voice would decrease overtime as he asked them, then the three boys walked out.

"Tell me." he whispered.

"What?"

"Tell me why you were crying?"

Oh gosh how did he know.

"I'm your best friend-- well was. I don't know what you see me as now. But I still know you. I can tell when you're down. Care to tell me?"

I felt like I still had that trust in him. It was not hard at all to tell him, "Stress and well.. Taylor."

"How long has he been in your life actually?"

"Like ten years dude. I dunno."

"Well you have me. If he doesn't have the time for you or has his new, whatever relationship they have, you have me."

"I've always had you, Carter."

I stood up and quickly hugged him trying not to get attached but I could feel him melting in the hug which only made me grip onto him tighter.

"Let's go with the other guys now." He offered and I happily agreed. "But wait." He stopped me by using his arm sleeves to wipe my cheeks. "Now we can go. Don't want anyone thinking I made you cry!" I giggled at his input of humor. "Thanks."

We met up with the three outside who were making small talk. Shawn nodded at me and I smiled. "Aw hi welcome back." Taylor looked my way and pulled my arm. "Dude. My parents are leaving me alone in the house could you come. They're making me babysit my cousin because my aunts are staying over. But they're going out with my parents tonight! Help!" He started ranting and tugging his hair. "Taylor alright alright, I'll see you tonight." I pat his head before walking along with Carter.

"I see you have your friend back." He said timidly. "Right that's only because he needs my help. If this didn't happen, he would probably spend his night with Shawn."

Carter made me look at him while we walked to class. "In any way are you jealous of Shawn?" I laughed at his question, answering, "Not jealous of Shawn at all. He's good. Typically upset at Taylor. But drop all of this. I have you."

"Ah good to know Matt."

[ july 31 11:15 am ]