I Can't Do This

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Jude walked through the large hall of people in the darkened hall. He was feeling very guilty for the dispute that had taken place between Connor and himself earlier that night. They were having a great time at prom, until Connor made it clear that he was bothered by Jude not labeling himself as gay. Jude really did love Connor, but he didn't want to have gay be yet another label about himself, at least not right now. After all of the problems that labels caused him as a kid, he wasn't eager to add another to the list. He knew that Connor knew that. He also knew that this disagreement was stupid, and that he should just be the bigger person, and apologize. Jude finally found Connor in the very back of the hall, getting a glass of punch.

"Hey Connor," Jude said, getting his boyfriend's attention. "Look, I'm sorry that I snapped earlier. I overreacted," Connor set his glass of punch down, and looked at Jude.

"Look, Jude, this is really hard for me," Connor stated.

"Look, if you don't want to apologize, it's okay. I just had to get that off of my chest," Jude said, clearly not getting what his boyfriend was thinking.

"No, it's not that. It's really hard being with you, since you won't just say that you're gay," Connor explained. Jude's stomach knotted up.

"I thought that you were fine with me not calling myself anything," Jude said, feeling hurt and confused by his boyfriend's change of heart.

"I know, but it was so weird earlier when that guy in the pink shirt was confused as to why we're dating, since you won't call yourself gay," Connor replied.

"Connor, that was one person. Why does he matter?"

"That 'one person' came up to me later, and told me how he's been with guys who said that they didn't want to identify as gay because they weren't sure if they were," Connor explained.

"Connor, that's so stupid. I really like you. Why do I have to call myself gay to prove that to you?"

"What if you're really not gay, and after you realize that, you break up with me?" Connor asked with a wavering voice.

"Connor, that wouldn't happen. I really like you. Don't you believe me?" Jude questioned, now on the verge of tears.

"Jude, I don't know. Look, I think that," Connor took a deep breath, " I think that we should see other people," Jude felt crushed.

"Connor, I don't want to be with anyone but you," Jude said. Connor took a deep breath.

"Look Jude, maybe when, and if, you're comfortable with being labeled as gay, we can try this again. But, right now, I just can't do this. I need someone who isn't ashamed of being with me," Connor replied.

"Connor, I'm so proud to be with you," Jude said, doing everything in his power to hold back tears.

"I wish I could believe you. If you get comfortable with being called gay, talk to me, and maybe we can try again,"

"Connor, don't do this-"

"See you later, Jude," Connor said before walking off. Jude kept his head down as he ran to the table that Callie and Cole were sitting at. When he got in front of them, he raised his head, and let his tears run down his face.

"Jude, what happened?" Callie asked, rushing over to her brother.

"You know how I didn't want to be labeled as gay?" Callie just nodded. "Connor said that because of that, it was hard being with me. He just broke up with me," Jude explained. Cole bolted up, and wrapped Jude in a big hug with Callie.

"Jude, I'm so sorry," Callie said, at a loss for words.

"He'll realize that he's wrong, Jude. I'm sure of it," Cole added. Jude put his head on Callie's shoulder, while Cole and Callie rubbed his back, feeling helpless. Jude continued to cry, feeling like he had just lost his whole world.

A/N: Hey guys! So, this one was a bit harder to write. But, I really wanted to try this out, so I did. Don't hate me! If any of you have a prompt you want written, send it to me, and I'll write it! Tumblr/Instagram: jonnorismylife Thank you guys so much for all of the reads, votes, and comments. I love you guys so much. Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you guys next time!
Lots of love,
-Liv

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