Four Boys & The Batmobile

Episode Three

"WE'RE GOING TO HIT SUPERMAN!" The four boys shouted. It was true. The Man of Steel stood on the highway with his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face.

"GIVE ME THE WHEEL, JASON!" Dick screeched, grabbing at the wheel. He caught it and jerked the wheel to the left as hard as he could. The Batmobile swerved into the oncoming traffic and the boys hollered some more as they were sure they were doomed. Suddenly the Batmobile was lifted up in the air and flown over to a rest area a few yards from where they were. When the Batmobile touched the ground the four boys scrambled out of it and flopped on the ground.

"I'm ali- " Dick began to cheer, but stopped short when he saw Superman and Batman standing over him. With a shout of alarm Dick flipped himself up and hid behind Jason.

"Take him! He's already died once!" Dick pleaded, shoving Jason forward.

"Hey!" Jason hollered as he spun around to face his brother.

"It's true." Dick said, crossing his arms. Jason growled and tackled Dick to the ground.

"I'M GOING TO POUND YOU INTO THE ASPHALT!" Jason shouted, punching Dick. Damian smiled and pulled out a camcorder that some how fit in the pockets of his tights.

"Damian, quit videoing it." Tim muttered. Damian turned his head and stuck his tongue out at Tim.

"Make me, nerd." Damian retorted. Tim kicked Damian in the stomach and caught the camcorder as it tumbled through the air. He pointed it at Damian and began narrating.

"And here we see the boy blunder." Tim said with a giggle. Damian picked himself up and pulled out his sword. Tim stopped smiling and pulled out his staff.

"This is what you have to deal with?" Superman asked.

"Every day, every night." Batman replied. Superman patted his friend's shoulder.

"I would say it gets better, but I would rather not lie." Superman said sympathetically. Batman glared darkly at him.

"I still have that kryptonite ring." Batman growled.

"Touchy." Superman muttered.

"Boy scout." Batman muttered back. Frowning Superman and Batman turned their attention back to the four boys. Dick had gotten himself away from Jason and was running across the Batmobile wearing Red Hood's helmet. Jason tried climbing onto the Batmobile after Dick, but kept getting kicked down. Tim was sitting on the ground with Damian bent over his legs and was spanking the younger boy with his staff.

"Give it back, Dick!" Jason shouted. He jumped up and down trying to grab Dick's feet, but kept missing.

"I'm Red Hood! If you don't call me sexy, I'll shoot you!" Dick shouted as he placed his fists on his hips and puffed his chest out.

"I don't say that!" Jason yelled.

"You might as well, diva!" Dick yelled back.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" Jason retorted. Dick gasped in mock horror as he held a hand up to the red helmet he was wearing.

"Jealous? Have you seen this butt?" Dick asked. He turned and slapped his butt. "Doesn't get much sexier than this."

Dick turned around and swung his hips back and forth. Jason rolled his eyes and groaned, then he got an idea.

"Hey, Dick?" Jason asked suddenly. "Your suit is bulletproof right?"

"Yeah. It's made of ke- "

BANG!

"MY BUTT!" Dick screamed as he rolled off of the Batmobile. "YOU SHOT ME IN THE BUTT?! DAD! HE SHOT ME IN THE BUTT!"

Jason nearly dropped his gun as he doubled over laughing like a maniac. Tim stopped spanking Damian as he watched Dick roll around on the ground cussing Jason out. Damian took this chance to flee and scrambled underneath the Batmobile. Tim stuck his electro staff under the Batmobile and tried shooing Damian out from under.

"THAT HURT YOU IDIOT! THAT HURT!" Dick shouted at Jason before he went back to profoundly cussing his brother out. Batman sighed deeply, letting it turn into a deep growl.

"ENOUGH!" Batman bellowed. The four boys froze in their positions and stared wide eyed at their father. Sure, they had gotten yelled at a couple times, spanked, grounded, but never never had Batman shouted that loudly at them.

"Oooh. He used his Batman voice." Jason said, cracking up at the end. A small giggle escaped Dick's mouth, then Damian's. Tim made the mistake of looking over at Jason who was on the verge of going into full hysterical laughter. Dick laughed again and that set them all off on a laughter rampage. Even Superman snickered. Batman tensed up and contemplated getting the kryptonite ring out, but decided it wasn't worth it- yet. He came up with a better form of punishment for the Man of Steel.

"Be sure they get home. Including my car." Batman said to Superman. The Dark knight turned and stalked off to the Batplane in the field next to the highway. Superman opened his mouth to protest, but Batman cast him an infamous Batglare that made him snap his mouth shut. Turning back to the four superhero boys Superman sighed heavily and shook his head. It was a wonder they hadn't been killed years ago, well Jason did, but he came back. Maybe Batman had his own Lazarus Pit in the cave. Or maybe he still had that White Lantern ring. Jason and Dick's hysterical laughter prevented Superman from dwelling on his thoughts for long. They sounded like gasping hyenas. Superman was going to create a vacuum around them so they would pass out, but the way they were laughing he probably wouldn't have to.

"Hey, where's dad?" Tim asked suddenly. Dick stopped laughing and craned his head back looking for their father.

"We're free!" Damian shouted as he popped out from under the Batmobile, pumping his fists in the air.

"To the Batmobile!" Dick yelled, leaping to his feet. The four boys piled into the Batmobile with Dick and Jason in the back and the other two in the front. Damian beat Tim to the driver's seat earning him a smack on the back of his head.

"He- Hey!" Superman hollered. Damian slammed his foot down on the pedal and the Batmobile spun around in circles before shooting off down the highway. Superman started to go after them when his JL alert went off. He stopped above the highway for a moment.

"Angry Batman or Angry Justice League?" Superman debated. He finally went with angry Batman and flew off to assist the Justice League. Well, that was his biggest mistake. In the Batmobile Damian kept the pedal against the floorboard and swerved wildly around the cars that got in his way.

"Slow down!" Tim yelled at his little brother.

"You sound like an old lady." Damian said.

"Shut up! I do not!" Tim screeched. Damian giggled infuriating Tim even more. In the back Dick and Jason slouched in their seats, staring numbly at the door in front of them.

"This is boring." Jason grumbled.

"My butt hurts." Dick muttered.

"Nobody cares." Jason replied.

"Nobody is somebody." Dick retorted.

"Shut up."

"Make me, freak."

"Gladly." Jason pulled out a roll of duct tape and ripped a piece off. He slapped it across Dick's mouth and began wrapping it around his brother's wrists. Dick wiggled around trying to get away, but it was tight space and he couldn't move quick enough. Jason succeed in duct taping Dick's wrists, ankles and knees together in a few minutes. Dick shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he accepted defeat. Jason sighed happily and leaned back in his seat.

"This is going to be a great trip."