The illegal One

Chapter twenty four

After Nate finished speaking, Jasper had to speak after him. But we decided to take a break because of the emotional stress. I avoided Nate's eyes as he tried to speak to me. He kept telling me how sorry he was and that he was under a lot of pressure, he didn't mean any of it. I tuned him out when he wouldn't stop talking to me. I wasn't angry at him. I wasn't angry at him, all all. I was angry at my mother. How could my mother have let this happen? I made my brother suffer so much that he wished I was never born, that he wished my mother made the decision to not have any more children.

She didn't even think about the consequences of her actions. I doubt she didn't even thought anything at all. She just allowed it to happen. Didn't think how it would affect my brother or me. I hated her. I hated her so much. If Nate was able to read my thoughts, he would have scolded me for thinking of such things about our mother. And I wouldn't have cared. I turned to my brother, relief filled his hazel eyes that I finally looked at him. I had to tell him how I felt about our mother.

"I'm not upset with you," I said as I sat down on the wooden oak bench. He looked down at me with relief as he sat down also. He was about to hug me when I placed my hands on his chest. His eyes had a hurt look in them. I sighed as I casted my eyes to look down on the dusted wooden floor which creaked each time we moved.

"I'm upset at our mother. Do you not understand how much problems we had to face because of her? I couldn't have freedom because of her. You had to take care of me when you were an eight year old boy. You had to deliver me when you were eight! Mom died as soon as I came out of her because of the sickness that she caught. Our whole family disgraced us because of her, you found out that dad died days after mom died, you couldn't go to mom or dad's funeral because of me. You couldn't go to school anymore because of me. You went through depression with me. You cut yourself because of the depression, but you had to stop when you realized no was able to take care of me," I said as I pressed my forehead on his shoulder. I smelled the familiar cologne he always wore. I noticed that he wore a V-neck blue shirt and black jeans. I started to tremble as I realized I wouldn't be able to see him anymore if they decided to kill me.

"B-But then Aunt Melissa showed up, you told me how she made everything brighter. She was the only one that accepted me, the one that took care of me for awhile. She helped us out when no one else would, you thought it finally got better. But then the sickness came back, and she caught it. She had to stay away from us because she didn't want us to get sick, she died in her own home, and you had to take care of me again by yourself. Days later I got the sickness and you had to hover over me like crazy," I said rubbing my eyes. He stared at me in anticipation, wiping my tears each time they came down.

"Don't you get it? You deserve to be free from me, I don't care what happens to me as long as you're free," I said as I looked down at my hands. After I finished, Nate grabbed my shoulders and shook them. I stared at him in shock.

"Anastasia, what the hell is wrong with you!? Don't you understand!? Fine, I'll admit it, I did have those thoughts," He said while glancing down at the floor. He glanced back up at me and I was about to speak when he put a finger on my lips. "But I regretted them each time I had those thoughts. Don't you see? I said my life ended the day you born but the truth is my life didn't start until then. I need you. You're my family."

He hugged me and I pressed my face on the crook of his neck. I cried in his neck and he placed his hand in my hair. He used his free hand to rub my back.

"I love you, Nate," I said and he kissed the side of my head. I shut my eyes and breathed into his cologne.

"I love you too, I'm not gonna let them kill you, I'll kill them myself if I have to, I'm not gonna let the government win," He whispered in my ear so no one could hear him. So no one could hear the rebellion in his voice. I shuddered when he said that.

I heard someone clear their throat and we turned around. The judge came back in the room and so did the rest of the people. Jasper also came back in.

"Ready to start?," The judge asked. Nate glanced at me and then back at the judge.

"Yes, your honor," He said with determination. He was determined to not let me die. Nate was always my hero.

And he will never stop.

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