All We Are

Nightmares

Enya shot up out of bed, heart racing, sweat pouring down her face.

It'd been six months since that night and every night since she'd been released, she'd have the same nightmare.

Cato rolled over and wrapped his arms around her. "Nightmare again?" He mumbled.

"Yeah," she laughed shakily, "I'm getting awful tired of this shit and I'm sure the little guy isn't too thrilled about it either. He's moving all over the place."

Cato placed his warm palm on her now rounded out belly, feeling his son move all over.

"Feels like he's wide awake now." He leaned in and kissed Enya on the cheek.

These nightmares were getting worse and Enya supposed it was from the fact that the trial was taking place. She'd have to deal with the press all over again and she didn't even want to think about having to see Andrew.

Amanda had somehow gotten a plea deal and took it, claiming insanity over Cato ending things with her. Enya suspected that daddy's money had helped her get it.

Andrew was the fall guy who'd ended up taking on everything. It didn't help that he was trying to defend himself. He seemed even crazier than he'd been that night.

Enya shuddered. She'd taken her mother's advice and sought out counseling. It was helping, she had definitely come a long way since.

Cato had been ever the patient husband and had been by her side the entire way. Whether she had wanted it or not. Looking back,she was grateful for him.

"It's okay, I know it's because of the trial," he said as if reading her thoughts, "I'm going to be there the entire time with you. You're going to do just fine."

Leave it to Cato to make her feel a little more at ease. A piece of her had been taken and slowly it was coming back.

She'd gone back to work two weeks after being released from the hospital, at that time she had needed something to keep her mind busy. She hadn't known how to deal with everything that had been happening.

At one point, it had all become too much and she'd disappeared for awhile. She hated that she'd caused Cato so much heartache back then and he'd finally found her.

He hadn't been angry, hadn't screamed at her, he'd hugged her. Cato had loved her, and talked her into coming back home. That was when her mother had talked to her.

Cato shifted, already dozing when he said, "Let your mind shut off. Just be here, with me and our son."

Thinking he was right, she snuggled in closer to him. Tomorrow would be here soon enough, tonight she just needed to calm down and sleep. She was safe. They were safe.

She dozed off feeling their son lazily kick inside of her. It was one of the best feelings in the world.

*************
Enya didn't feel like celebrating, she just wanted to go home. She wanted to crawl into her bed and cry happy tears for once.

Today the courts had been in her favor. Andrew had done an entirely poor job of representing himself, and when he'd became flustered he had acted out and ended up in contempt so they'd had no choice but to find someone for him.

Then the jury had found him guilty on all counts and the judge sentenced him to twenty years in prison.

Cato had whooped and clapped and so had Matt and Sonja. They wanted to go out to eat and start living life again, but Enya couldn't and sometimes she wished they understood.

Sometimes she wished she wasn't broken. She missed being herself. The only thing that stopped her from going home was the severe hunger she felt. It was nauseating.

So here she was, standing and thinking while everyone looked at her to see if that's what she wanted to do.

"You guys are lucky that this little boy eats like his damn father. Let's go feed this kid." She said shaking her head, a little piece of her coming back.

Everyone seen it too. They laughed and chattered the entire way to the restaurant. They joked and Enya occasionally chimed in, not as much as she would have six months ago but it was still something.

She could finally feel herself relaxing. Her mind clearing a little knowing that he she wouldn't have to ever see him again.

***************

As the weeks progressed, Enya started coming out of her shell more and more.

Cato had woken up to her one morning clearing out the guest room "What are doing?"

Enya paused, "I'm making this the nursery. You going to stand there and look sexy as hell Slick or are you going to help your severely pregnant wife?"

Cato's eyes grew wide and then he laughed. He laughed a full deep laugh. "I guess I'm helping my wife."

"I know that look, I like that look Slick. We can do that after we clean this out. Must be nesting or something because I'm on a mission." She said smiling at him.
*********

"I can't do this. I can't do this. Who's fucking bright idea was it to have a homebirth?!" Enya screamed from the tub.

Cato was running around like s madman, calling the midwife and gathering all the supplies from Enya's list.

Enya moaned in pain again. "Fuck, Jesus Christ, Cato if you ever do this to me again I'm filling your balls right off your scrotum and throwing them out the window!" She yelled as another contraction hit. They were getting intensly close now and not even warm bath water could ease the pain.

Then another contraction hit just as soon as the other had finished. "Oh God! Cato get in here, something doesn't feel---ohhh my God! He's coming, Cato! Fuck!"

Cato came barreling into the bathroom, phone glued to his head. He was shouting incohently into it at the midwife. Frantically doing whatever the hell it was the midwife was saying.

She felt this searing pain and just like that it was gone. Cato was dumbstruck, staring down into the water. There he was, or rather there his head was, "Oh shit." Was all Enya could say as her body released the rest of her son, she pulled him up and out where he immediately wailed.

She placed him to her chest where he continued to scream for a bit. He was so soft, so new. Pink and wrinkly and so, so chubby.

She was crying again, they'd done it. They'd made this perfect little human and here he was, Cato had dropped to his knees and was just admiring them.

"He's here." He'd said and immediately hung up on the midwife.

They sat there for some time, Cato had quickly gotten a blanket for the baby and stuff to deal with everything else.

"He's perfect En, you did it. You're amazing, you're strong. God I didn't know it was possible to love you anymore than I did, but I do. What do you want to call him?"

She looked down lovingly at her son, "I may regret this later but Ansem. Let's call this little guy Ansem."