Chapter 9

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I'm seeing him again today. I still have his key from a couple nights ago, at least I know he's not fighting. We're supposed to go out tonight, like on a date. I can't remember the last time we went on a real date. We stayed on the phone all night last night, talking about, things.
We talked about normal people things. Like music and Rule and Ren and our favorite colors, shit like that. It was, weird. I mean we always talked about things like that when we were together the first time but after everything that's happened it was strange.

"Rach, I'm going out!" Thatcher yells from the base of the stairs. "Have fun, say no to drugs, use a condom!"

"Get out of here!" I call down to him and I hear him cracking up as he leaves.

I'm only a couple steps up the stairs when my phone starts buzzing in my back pocket. It's Ren, I'd left a message for her last night telling her the gist of what happened with Marshall. It took her a while to get back to me because she's on her honeymoon in Bangkok, they're 14 hours ahead. I slide the answer button, it'll be nice to talk to her.

"Hello?"

"Tell me everything." She says right off the bat. "Are you guys okay now or what?"

"Well I think so, I mean yes, I told him we are." I explain. "But I told him my conditions and he has to prove that he can stick to them."

"He's gonna fight less?" She asks, keeping her voice down.

"He told me he's gonna retire." I say, a massive twinge of guilt toying at my heart.

"What?!" She asks with shock, and then immediately keeping her voice down. "What?"

"I know, I have to talk to him about that." I rub the bridge of my nose and lay down on my back on my bed. "I know I can't take that away from him. I just can't stand seeing him beat up all the time, and the whole baby thing scared me too." I take in a huge breath and let it out. "I want that with him, but what if he gets seriously, seriously, hurt permanently."

"Look Rach, the thing about being with a fighter is you have to understand that taking a lot of hits is their job." She explains. "They are trained for this, and Marshall isn't good, he's great. He will retire eventually, like Rule. They know when to stop."

"I know, and right now I believe it." I tell her. "But when he's getting punched it's hard to hold onto that."

"You love him though." She says, and I hear her sigh. "Don't you think you should try?"

Her words hit me hard. I think I do owe it to him to try, but I've been trying already. I guess I just have to try harder, he's worth it. He's worth all this trouble.

"You're right." I say. "I'm seeing him tonight, hopefully we'll get to talk."

"Alright, tell me everything when you're back." She demands. "I gotta go, Rule's waking up."

"Bye Ren."

"Bye Rach good luck tonight."

***

Marshall and I spent the day in downtown. We wasted a good two hours in Recovery. That's our place. We didn't talk much about the things we need to talk about, we just kind of blended in with everyone else for a change. I know it was hard for him to keep his hands to himself, and he didn't do a very good job. He's invited me to go back to his place and I couldn't find it in me to decline.
His apartment looks the same, only messier. I look around a little bit and hear him lock the door behind us. I don't realize how hard my heart is pumping until I see him. He's standing rather close, putting the keys on the counter as usual.

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