Knockout

Chapter 26

The four of us, go back to Thatcher and I's. We're tired, but sleep is not a possibility. I hold Marshall's hand, I don't think I've let it go once this whole night. Thatcher unlocks the door and we walk in. There's a different feeling in the house tonight, almost like it knows something is wrong.

"First thing tomorrow we'll go back." Thatcher says, breaking up the awkward silence.

I nod at him for both Marshall and I. We part ways at the top of the stairs and I close the door to my bedroom after us. When I turn around Marshall's standing at the edge of my bed facing me. I can't help but laugh internally. He looks so out of place amongst my things. I never realized how girlish my room is until now, seeing a man standing in it.
But I can't read him, his expression is blank. I know he's upset. He has to be. I don't want to push him to talk about it because he won't. Instead, I walk to my dresser and begin to change into some pajamas. I feel his eyes on me while I search. I locate his black t shirt that I stole from his room, and peel off my clothes, changing into it.
When I turn around he's only six inches away, and I jump slightly. I flicker my eyes all over him, trying to anticipate what's going to happen next. He leans forward and rests his forehead on mine, taking a deep breath. In my peripheral vision I see his arms raise and grab the back of his shirt collar, pulling it up and off. He's still all bruised up under there, but right now I'm only looking at those eyes.

"What is it?" I ask him, reaching up and touching his pectorals. "Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." He says quietly. "I don't know what I'm feeling."

"Well, I love you." I tell him, kissing him briefly. "At least you know that."

He presses his lips on me, harsher this time. I feel my legs being lifted and all of a sudden I'm on the bed. He's on top, kissing desperately. But that's all he's doing, kissing. His hands are very gentlemanly placed on my waist, keeping to themselves.

"Hey." I say, pushing back lightly on his shoulder.

I can see in his eyes that he's trying everything he can not to burst into tears. He shakes his head a couple times and starts to kiss me again.  I move him back again, he should just let it out.

"Let me." He demands, taking my hand off his shoulder and holding it to the bed.

"Marshall, you're upset." I state, maybe if he hears it out loud he'll finally accept it.

"Please, this is how I cope." He mumbles, pushing his lips on my neck. "I love you..."

"Marshall." I say, I can feel him shaking beneath my palms.

"I love you, Rachel, I love you." He repeats, his voice trembling.

"Marshall." I put my hand on either side of his face and pull him off.

I hold him in front of me so I can look at him. We get a good couple moments of looking at each other before he closes his eyes and two tears drop on my chest. I sit up and before I'm even settled he pulls me against his body, hugging me tightly. I wrap my arms around him, and he cries into my shoulder.
I lean my back up against my head board and he hugs my hips, now crying against my stomach. He's quiet, but I can feel the tears through the shirt. His body shakes, and I don't think he realizes it.

"Baby." I shake his shoulder, I want him to talk.

"I'm freaking out." He says quietly, shivering against my body.

"I know, it's okay, come here."

It takes him a minute but he moves higher up on the bed. I sink lower down so now we're propped up on pillows. He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head where my collar bone is. I rest my hand on his arm and my other one runs through his hair. I kiss his temple, like he's done to me so many times before.