drown.

yøu are all that i've gøt ↠ chapter iv

a/n: continued thank u @everyone reading i love u & talk to me if you need anything okay

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//t

we pulled into josh's driveway. 210 screen street. fairly local, i mean; i only lived exactly 3 blocks away. that sounds a little bit stalker-y, because it is, but oh well. i dragged myself out of the car, feeling again surrounded by my shadowy surroundings -- though, weirdly, josh made it a little bit better. i pulled my black hoodie sleeve up a bit, and i felt my arm slightly burn as the fabric scraped against my scabbed wounds.

waiting for josh to get out of the car, i leaned on the hood. i sat in silence, punctuated only by some singing crickets. he'd turned off the car, but hadn't come out, so i knocked on his door to see. he jolted awake, flailing his arms around and hitting his wrists on the steering wheel mid-flail. he groaned exaspera --

well done, tyler. you've freaked him out.

how long do you really think he'll stick around for?

he already knows! i shrieked to the night sky, partly to make the voice stop and partly to convince myself. 

you're alone, tyler, the shadows screamed back, drowning out every other sound i heard. i involuntarily scraped my bitten nails across my left wrist, drawing small trickles of blood. my heart beat in my ears. inhale, exhale; inhale, exhale.

i pushed the noise out of my mind, sighing, water beginning to decorate my eyes. it was just a low buzz, for now.

//j

the banging against my window startled me awake, and i thrashed around in surprise, whacking my hands on the steering wheel. i swore under my breath. i slowly calmed down, dragging myself out of sleep, and moved to get out of the car, when i heard tyler yell into the sky:

"HE ALREADY KNOWS!"

i hesitated a moment before getting out. what was i supposed to do ... ? but then i pulled myself together and climbed out of the car. i walked up slowly behind tyler, gently putting my hand on his shoulder. he spun around, polarizing his emotions, tucking the melancholy ones underneath the smile he tried to put on for me. 

"come on," i said, taking his hand and dragging him to my doorstep. fumbling around with my keychain, i finally found the house key. i gave tyler directions to my room ("upstairs, on the right, you'll know which one it is") and then went to find my mom. she was sitting in the kitchen, just mommin' around.

"hi honey," she beamed, knitting. "who's your friend?"

"hi mom," i said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "that's tyler."

"joseph?"

"yeah, actually! how'd you ... ?"

"his mom and i were in a book club, remember sweetie?"

"the one down the road?" she nodded.

"i heard him sing once. he's so talented. i always thought you boys should be friends!"

"mom, is it okay if he stays over? for ... a few days, at least?"

"why? what's wrong?"

"um --"

she smiled sweetly. "no problem. you two have fun!"

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i had this written and then accidentally deleted half of it and i cri evrytim let this be a lesson to you children sAVE UR WORK ASAP ok bye

*cries over my rapidly-growing fanbase of 2 people* 3/4 OF THE WAY TO 100 READS HELLA