drown.

the wrists øf my mind have the bleeding lines ↠ chapter xii

//j

a doctor walks over and shakes me lightly, gently calling, "sir. sir?"

i open my eyes, waking up from the worry-induced sleep. i blink away the tears and look up to him, nodding.

"mr. dun, your friend tyler is--"

my stomach turns, my face turning an angry red.

"--sir, it's okay. we stitched him up. he's awake and stable."

"oh thank god," i sigh in relief. "is it okay if i--can i--"

he laughs. "yes, you can go see him now."

//t

my eyes dart around the room, bouncing back and forth between the gray walls to the sterile-white curtains to the blinding hospital room lights. i try to distract myself from the possibility that josh won't want to see me.

why would he?

he's already had to drive me here.

i'm a freak. i wouldn't stay, either.

but the doctors tell me that he was crying and begging them to save him. i hope he doesn't think he's wasted his time, even though he has. i hope he thinks i'm worth it. i hope he knows he's worth it.

i hear the door open, but i'm still staring at the ceiling. then i hear a familiar voice--his voice.

"t ... tyler?" he says, his vocal cords quivering. i blink, the anxiety letting up, just a little. i feel a smile deep inside me. i breathe and look into his eyes.

"hi, josh."

he sits down, fidgeting a little bit, trying to hide; but right now, there's no sound to hide behind. it's quiet, but a peaceful quiet. he clears his throat.

"are you, um, are you okay?"

"yeah. yeah, i'm fine."

"god, i was worried."

"i was too."

more quiet.

"josh, thank you. for bringing me here."

he bites his lip, trying to figure out what to say. his face scrunches up a little. "if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had to be here."

"what?"

"i don't know why i asked you about debby."

my heart stops at the mention, and i breathe out an 'oh'.

"tyler, i heard you say 'i love you'."

"i wasn't--it's not--"

"i love you too."