After

Chapter 54.

My hands find the cold metal of the doorknob to Hardin's room and I twist it. Thank god it opens, he must have forgotten to lock it.

"NO! Please.." he yells again. If someone is hurting him, I have no idea what I will do, I didn't think this through. I fumble around for the lamp and switch it on. Hardin is shirtless and tangled in the thick comforter, thrashing and tossing in the web. I remember Steph briefly mentioning that she heard Hardin has nightmares, the rumor must be true.

Without thinking, I sit on the bed and reach for his shoulder. His skin is hot, too hot. "Hardin!" I say quietly, trying to wake him. His head snaps to the side and he whimpers but doesn't wake.

"Hardin, wake up!" I cry and shake him harder while my body moves to sit astride his. Both of my hands go to his shoulders once more and I shake him again. His eyes fly open, terror fills them for a brief moment before confusion, then relief. Beads of sweat cover his forehead. 

"Tess." He chokes. The way he says my name breaks my heart then heals it. Within seconds he untangles his arms and brings them to my back, pushing me forward to lay on his chest. The wetness of his chest startles me but I stay put. I can hear his heart beating, pumping rapidly against my cheek. Poor Hardin. I put both of my hands on his sides, hugging him. He strokes my hair as he repeats my name over and over, as if I am his talisman in the dark.

"Hardin, are you okay?" My words are lower than a whisper.

"No." he confesses. His chest is rising and falling slower than it was, but his breathing is still shallow. I don't want to push him to discuss what terror he has just dreamed.

I don't ask him if he wants me to stay, somehow I know he does. When I lift up to turn the lamp off his body stills.

"I am going to switch the light off, or do you want it on?" I ask him. Once he realizes my intentions he relaxes, letting me reach further to the lamp.

"Off please." He begs. Once the room returns to darkness, I lay my head back on his chest. I would imagine laying this way, straddling his body would be an uncomfortable, but  it is comforting to him and I both. Hearing his heart beat under the hard surface of his chest is calming, more calming than the patter of the rain on the roof. I would do anything, give anything to be able to spend every night with Hardin, to lie this way with him, to have his arms wrapped around my back as his breathing slows.

....

I wake up to Hardin shifting below me. I am still laying on top of him, my knees at his sides. My cheek pressed against his chest, my head lifts up and he makes eye contact with me. In the light of day I am not sure if I am wanted the way I was last night. II can't read his expression, leaving my nerves to take over. My neck feels sore from sleeping on Hardin's hard chest, and I need to stretch my legs out.

"Good morning." He gives me a dimpled smile, soothing my fear.

"Good morning." I move to climb off him but he stops me.

"Where are you going?" he questions.

"My neck hurts." I reveal and he brings me to lay next to him, my back pressed against his front. He startles me by bringing his hand to my neck, causing me to jump. I recover quickly as his hand begins to rub my neck. My eyes close and I wince a little at his contact with the ache but it slowly disappears as he massages.

"Thank you." He speaks before me. I turn my head to look at him.

"For what?" Maybe he is telling me to thank him for the neck rub?

"For.. coming in here. For staying." his cheeks flush and his eyes dart away from mine. He is embarrassed. Hardin embarrassed, he never ceases to amaze and confuse me.