Word count: 1,156
Y'all asked for it, so here is a short sequel to "Stop". Please read that before this, otherwise it won't make any sense. ;)
-
"Troye, why aren't you sitting with us?" Marcus asked as he walked towards the table where Joe, Caspar, Tyler, Naomi, and Zoe were all sitting. I gulped, my body shaking by only looking in Tyler's direction. He looked so happy and friendly as he laughed along with his friends, like he wouldn't hurt a fly. I almost didn't believe what he'd done myself.
"Um, th-that's okay," I stuttered, "B-but, um, I have--"
"Troye," the familiar voice said behind me. I smiled a little at Marcus and turned away as Connor pulled me out of the cafeteria. I let him, only because I trusted him. He was the only person I had let touch me at all since . . . that.
Once we were by ourselves, Connor sighed and turned to me. "I don't like telling people what to do, but you need to stop hanging out with Tyler and the others just to feel included. They don't care about you."
I let out a breath. "I know, Connor. I'm not going to, trust me." Connor started smiling.
I wanted to kiss that smile of his.
Instead, I started walking down the hallway. "Let's have lunch outside."
-
Connor was a giggling fit on his bed, rolling around and laughing. I didn't even remember what started it, but it made me giggle too. I watched him laughing. Maybe that's creepy to say, but it was calming to watch him as I sat on the floor. I tilted my head up and smiled at him. He saw me and I swear he blushed.
"What are you looking at?" He asked sweetly.
"Nothing important," I laughed a little. He slipped down from his bed and leaned against it as he sat on the floor in front of me. He bit his lip ever so slightly, but I noticed, and it made me want to kiss him breathless.
Okay, so I had a little crush on him. No big deal.
I thought about actually kissing him. I thought about all the times he had blushed next to me, or teased me or giggled when I said something that wasn't really funny at all. And suddenly, I really, really, really wanted to kiss him.
All the memories Tyler had left with me had held me back from doing anything. I guess I was too scared. I was tired of being afraid, though, so I told myself something different this time.
I have to get over it.
I inched closer to Connor, watching as he breathed in and out quickly with anticipation. His face was laced with confusion as I got closer. My heart was beating as I traced my trembling finger up his arm, never once breaking eye contact. His green eyes were swimming with confusion as they locked with mine, but he didn't once speak. Instead, he licked his lips, and was all it took before I leaned in to find his lips.
I started kissing him, and I really kissed him. I started to have flashbacks of the car, Tyler's lips on mine, tasting of salty tears. I pushed the memories away as I softly pushed Connor all the way down. I was practically on top of him as he was laid across the floor when I broke apart. He was panting. He looked surprised, really surprised.
"T-troye-"
I let go of him and backed up, stumbling over myself as I stood up. He got up too, a little more slow. He seemed apprehensive, almost. I was scared of his reaction and backed away from him until I stumbled into the wall. Connor just reached out and grasped my wrists, not pulling or squeezing too hard.
"Calm down," he whispered as he saw how scared I looked. I started to relax a little and he inched towards me until he was inches away from me. He dropped my wrists only for a second before I felt his hands around my neck. And then we were kissing again.
I walked forwards until we fell onto his bed, never breaking the kiss once. I felt the soft sheets around me, Connor's delicate body under mine. I nibbled slightly at his bottom lip and felt his grip on my shoulders tighten. He moaned softly into my mouth, and I could feel his breath. I shifted slightly, but it was just enough that his leg rubbed a little too close to certain places.
It was all too fast.
Before I knew it I felt his hand under my shirt and I, almost instinctively, slapped his hand away as I broke the kiss. Connor tilted his head, looked worried, guilty, and a little scared. I covered my face with my hands, shaking and feeling tears prick at my eyes. I expected Connor to be mad or offended, but instead he sat up and touched my back slowly.
I winced at his touch, even though it wasn't sexual, the tears dripping slowly down my chin.
"I'm sorry . . ." I whispered, surprised I didn't stutter.
Connor shook his head. "Don't say sorry, it's okay. It's not your fault."
I didn't answer, instead, I wrapped my arms around Connor in a hug, trying to hold back the tears but failing.
"Shhhh," was all he said as he patted my back softly. "You don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."
"I-I know-w," I said through clenched teeth. I hated that I was scared. I hated myself. I hated Tyler. I hated that even though I wanted to do things with Connor, I didn't at the same time. I hated that my mind made the most gentle and loving touches feel like pins and needles.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
I was relieved that he didn't ask to talk about it or question me any further. He knew the problem and he knew to just move on.
Still, I wanted to say no. My throat was clenching, trying to say "No, I want to keep going. I'm fine, I'll be fine," but I knew I wasn't ready. So I said, "Okay."
-
Halfway through the movie, Connor turned to me and rested his head against the back of the couch. He just looked at me until I finally looked over. I raised an eyebrow, a blush creeping over my cheeks.
"What are you looking at?" I asked.
"Nothing important," He said, playing back the words I had used earlier. He looked at me for a while.
"Can we start over?" I asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?" He said as I rested my head against the couch as well.
"Whatever this is. Can we start over?" I just kept looking at him, waiting for him to reply but he didn't. "What I mean to ask is, in the most sincere way possible, can I kiss you, Franta?"
He smiled a little bit, and I could see him blush in the dim lighting.
"Only if you want to, Sivan."
-
A/N: I don't usually do author notes but I just need to say that I just finished reading "Stars" by creative-mishaps and it was absolutely beautiful and by far my favorite Tronnor au I've ever read. Go check them out, seriously.
That's all
Starry Xx
