Word count: 1,099
A/N: I wrote this a while ago but wasn't very proud of it so I never posted it. I haven't posted in a while (I'm sorry!) and thought that maybe someone would like it but don't judge me if it's bad.
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"Connah," Troye whispered into his boyfriend's ear as Connor kissed his cheek.
"Yes, Troye?" Connor whispered back, breaking away to look deeply into Troye's eyes.
Troye shook his head, sighing, but his eyes flickered around the room anxiously. "Be careful." Connor's eyebrows scrunched together, confused.
"What do you mean?"
"What if people see us?" Troye said under his breath with clenched teeth, as if he were afraid people would hear. Connor looked disappointed and annoyed.
"Troye, how long are we going to keep this a secret?!"
"I don't know," he sighed, "But I'm not ready yet."
Connor looked away from Troye, keeping his gaze on the door at the other end of the café. "You seem to have not been ready for a long time."
"Well, I'm sorry!" Troye started, "it's just--"
"I know, it's the shippers and the social pressure and all that," Connor said, "but I thought I was the one who was terrified of being seen as gay."
"That wasn't a relationship, Connor," Troye said sternly back. "This is different."
"How?" Connor shouted.
"See?!" Troye's voice rose, "You don't even know. You don't even have an idea! You're obviously not even ready yourself!"
Connor stood up from his seat. "Not ready?!? Troye, I have fucking been ready this whole time!"
"Calm down!" Troye hissed, looking around at the customers who were now giving glances at the commotion at their table.
"No, Troye. I'm done with calming down. I've kept quiet long enough." With those last words, Connor left the table, not turning back once, and left the café. Troye sat at the table as he gripped his forehead, his fingernails digging deep into his skin. He didn't have the power to call back Connor.
He was mad and didn't want Connor to leave. He wanted him to understand so badly, but he just didn't seem to. Troye could feel his skin burning as his nails started to draw blood, but he didn't care. His eyes stung, but he sucked in his tears, refusing to cry. That would only draw more attention to himself.
-
A few months had passed and Troye couldn't bear being alone anymore. He hadn't seen Connor since what happened at the café. He had thought about it for a long time and he knew what he had to do.
He knew what he wanted.
Troye woke up early the next morning and called Connor.
"Hello?" He heard the familiar voice say through his phone.
"H-hi Connor."
"Why are you calling me? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."
Troye gulped, taking a breath. "Connor, I need to talk to you. Can you come over?"
"Um, sure," Connor paused. "I guess. Why?"
"Just come over. Please." And Troye hung up the phone.
Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Troye reached for the handle, taking a deep breath. He opened the door, Connor standing there. It was almost 12:00 at night and he was wearing a hoodie to keep himself warm.
"Come inside," Troye said, trying to ignore how Connor squinted at him. Troye sat down on the armchair and Connor sat uncomfortably on the couch opposite to him.
"So." Connor said, sounding annoyed as he broke eye contact.
"Connor," Troye started, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans, "I just need to tell you this."
"And . . .?" Connor said, raising his eyebrow.
"Connor . . ." He took another breath before finally spilling his mind. "I don't care what other people think. For all I care they could watch me make out with you and it wouldn't matter to me. I'm the only one who has been judging myself. And even all those selfish and ignorant douchebags who think there's something wrong with me, they can't hurt me because I won't let them, and they won't hurt you because I won't let them. I don't care what people think anymore."
He stopped for only a second to look up at Connor, who was finally looking at Troye. "I've learned through the two months that we haven't been together that being separated from the person you love is a million times worse than a few dickheads giving us weird looks on the streets. If I'm with you and you're happy and safe, then that's all that matters," Troye finished.
Connor bit his lip, his eyes tearing slightly.
"Troye, I still love you." He said suddenly.
Troye's breath was caught in his throat before he could speak. "You . . . L-love---"
"Troye, I've always loved you. I love you more than I think you know. And I hated being away from you. I wanted so badly for this to work, but I think I was also a little scared."
Troye started to feel like he was going to cry also. "Connor . . . I love you too."
The two boys looked at eachother. Both of them wanted each other more than anything but neither had been able to admit it. Finally they both knew the truth, for themselves and for each other.
Troye sat down next to Connor on the couch and pulled him into a hug. He had missed Connor's hugs so much. He missed the familiar scent of his cologne, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the sweet and sincere way he treated everyone, and basically everything else amazing about Connor. Which was everything.
Connor wrapped his arms around Troye in return.
"I'm sorry," Troye said.
"No," Connor whispered, "I'm sorry. I should've given you time. I was the one who overreacted."
"You know what," Troye said, breaking away from Connor's arms and sitting upright. "I'm going to tell them now."
"What?" Connor tilted his head.
Troye smiled at the adorable boy in front of him. "I'm going to tell my parents, and friends, and family, and all my subscribers just what you mean to me."
Connor blushed, his beautiful smile starting to come back after too long. "Well, then I'll do the same." He paused until Troye looked him in the eye. "So, we're still together, right? Or . . ."
"Of course," Troye giggled, "Unless you hate me."
Connor giggled, shaking his head. "I just told you I love you."
"So did I," Troye grinned, holding Connor's face and gazing into his eyes. Troye kissed him softly, keeping it short and sweet. Connor leaned in slightly as Troye broke apart. Connor had missed Troye's lips so much that all he wanted to do now was kiss him, but Troye only laughed, stroking Connor's cheek.
"Later," he said, "But right now, I need to make it clear to everyone that I'm taken."
