The Best (Wo)Man

The Very First Time There Was No Ring

The Diva:

"PATRICK!" I yelled "Could you please pull apart our kids from eachother?".
"I'm trying" He yelled too.

I was sitting down in a chair, trying to put my earrings on. I was the Best Man, I needed to be perfect, even as perfect as the Bride to be. My oldest daughter just approached me and and sat down on the boudoir.

"Mom, this is an insult to my personality".
"Why, Rikki?" I looked at her. God, how can a little girl look so much like my Grandpa?
"My hair" She pointed her head "Its full of flowers. Literally full of flowers... I'm not a bush, momma, why I'm wearing flowers?".

I looked at her. She only was three years old, how hell did she look that much like me? She will break a lot of hearts on the future...

"WESTON LUKAS GAVIGAN!" I rolled my eyes, why Pattie needed to yell to our two-year-old? "Could you come here please?".
"Mom? Can I take off these flowers from my hair?" She asked, trying to look lovely. But she is my daughter, she is lovely even without trying it.
"No, Rick" I shaked my head "Come on, is just for an evening... Please".
"And then you promess me we will see one of our intense marathons of Grey's Anatomy?" She asks... She will be a sugeon when she grows up.
"Of course we will" I smile and I kiss her in the front. My little baby.

Well. I'm lying. I have a real little baby who was probably sleeping. I approached her cot and I looked at her. Obviously I wanted all my kids to have Grey's Anatomy names (Rikki is because of Richard, and Weston is George's second name), because, come on, they are my kids. But she was different. She was born the same day as Kizz: on May 25th, exactly a week before my birthday.

I obviously didn't wanted my youngest kid to suffer bullying at school, so I didn't call her Princess (of course I wanted that name the most), but I called her Suri, who also means Princess.

But coming back to the wedding (the thing you guys obviously care the most, and I just don't want to bore you).

"Pattie, I need the rings" I said to my very hot husband.
"They are in your bag" He pointed my bag and then he just started fighting with his tie. I looked at him. Men will be always men, they just can't wear a tie without spend almost ten minutes on it. I approache him and I tie the freaking tie, while I look at my kids, praying God to make them stop fighting.
"Come on, guys, we are late" I yelled. I took  Weston in my arms and then I gave my hand to Rikki. I was for sure still upset for those horrible flowers that she might wear.
"I still can not believe how sexy you are with that fluor dress, babe" Pattie kissed me on the cheek. Rikki just raised an eyebrow and shaked her head.
"God, Daddy, I don't want another crying sibling until never" She went into the car and she put her seat belt on.

Patrick just looked at me and I rolled my eyes, but then I smiled. She was exactly like me. I loved her.

"When did we decide to have a kid?" He asked.
"Durex decided for us" I sighed and I went into the car too.
"Do you think I'm complicated now, Dad? Just wait until I'm four" She said and then she just started looking at the landscape.

I sighed.

***
He was going to kill me. They both were going to kill me. Where did I leave my head? Pattie couldn't help, and obviously I could not send my three-year-old to search two rings, so I was freaking the freak out. I was searching Lusi and Carma (who probably were too busy to help me with that) when I saw her. She was there. And she could help me! I approached her, almost running and I held her arm. She looked at me for a second and then she smiled.

"Here it is the Best Man!" She said.
"Irene... I need your help..." I sighed.
"What happend?" She looked at me, still smiling.
"The rings..." I wishpered.

The music started to sound and both of us were in the middle of the church. Kizz was making signals to me and I just might approache him. I looked at Irene one more time and she smiled "don't you worry".

I kissed Kizz on the cheek and he looked me up and down.

"You look good. Something told me you were going to wear some fluor clothes" He smiled. I was wearing a beige dress with big and yellow fluored flowers. And, oh yes, I was the last woman in the church who was wearing a braid. I'm a mommy guys, I didn't  got the time to do my hair: sorry not sorry.

I saw my little girl walking to the altar. She was not smiling, as mostly all the little girls who are the mini bridesmaid. She was just looking at me, and Kizz. Inmediatly after her, we saw Lusi and Carma, and some minutes after, we saw the beautiful bride. I smiled and I looked at Kizz. Oh, man, my little cowboy was getting married! And I didn't have the rings.

The cure looked at me and then he looked at the Groom.

"Is she the... Best Man?" He asked.
"I'm not" I smiled "I'm the Best Woman".

The cure looked at me and then he looked to Inés' father. He nodded his head and Father Matthew just sighed, like saying "these kids are crazy".

"OK, Best Woman... Do you have the rings, right?" He asked.
"Hmmm..." I looked at Irene who was still running from a place to another "Of course, yes. I'm the Best Man, obviously I have the rings, sir".
"Good girl..." He looked at me just for a second, and everyone in there started looking at me.

The cure started talking about God and about how good and kind was He. I didn't have the rings and I was getting nervous.

"Are you OK?" Kizz asked, wishpering, when the cure turned around to pick something that I probably didn't care about.
"I am" I smiled "I'm just having another baby".
"That's not something new..." He smiled.

Rikki approached me, she was tiny and little, so either the cure or the rest of the people by my side didn't see her. I kinda crouched down and she just wishpered something.

"Great, sweetie" I smiled.
"You are a disaster, mommy" She laughed a bit and then she said "But I love you either".
"Go back to your place, my monkey".

The cure looked at me (yes, another time) and he just couldn't deny the fact that he hated me! Like "I now you are here just because of you best friend". 

"Is everything OK?" He asked. Kizz and Inés looked at me, worried.
"I just need a second" I tried to smile, but I was kinda too nervous "I'll be here in a little second".
"Tul..." Kizz started, but I was running to the corner where I met Irene. She was with two more guys. I inmediatly recognized them: Baptiste and Mathieu! I huged them while I tried to remember how to speak french. They were my french friends plus my gay OTP, Bathieu.

"Moi je suis a... Hmm... A maloté" Baptiste said. He always messed up Spanish and French.
"Ton gross polla c'est dans ta bouche" Mathieu said to Baptiste.

Then I reminded I was the Best Man and I looked at Irene. She gave me the rings and I felt how I was going to pass out.

I looked at her, but she didn't have any other rings. "OK, you are Tulip Sheppard, this is not bad. This is just an act against the homophobia". I huged Irene because she just was my savior, and then I got back to my place, where Kizz was waiting for me.

"What the hell happend?" He asked.
"Keep calm Princess, you are not paying atention to the cure" I looked at the cure, who was looking at me.
"Do you have the rings, Best... Best Woman?" He asked.
"I do".

First I gave him the silver ring with a wolf's face in the upper part. Kizz understood it all and he shaked his head, but he wasn't angry, he looked funny.

Then I gave the cure the heart-shaped ring with a big rainbow on it. Kizz and Inés an everybody who saw that, started kinda laughing, but the cure made them stop.

"So these are the rings" He looked at them, just shaking his head "You are the strangest Best Man in the story of Best Men".
"Sorry?" I raised an eyebrow. Rule number one, try to not drive me mad "Maybe I'm a bit weird but I'm sure you love me either because I have more boobs than mostly every Best Man who came into this church".

I looked at Patrick sideway and he was just trying to not laugh so hard. Father Matthew lauged too, everybody lauged too.

"Let's finish this wedding" Said him, looking at me "Or we will be here until Christmas".