Regret (Ianthony)

Two Months Prior

"It's that time again!" Ian yelled into the handheld camera that he was holding level to his face, lens glinting slightly from the light. He pointed it at Anthony's face, anticipating a well-thought out comeback.

"Are you on your man period again?" Anthony joked, feigning exasperation by tilting his head back and letting the back of his hand collide with his forehead. He took the camera from Ian and pointed it at his boyfriend, already knowing where this was going.

Frowning, Ian whimpered, "I thought that was our little secret..." before crossing his arms across his chest and turning away from the camera.

"Well, shit happens," Anthony shrugged. Then, he aimed the camera back at his face and stated, "We've noticed how much the mail's been piling up since the latest Smosh video was released, so we decided to check it out. The mailman probably shit himself when he saw how many packages we were getting."

Anthony turned the camera again as Ian stood and darted his head from side to side, taking in the scene. "Most definitely!" There were boxes and letters littering the ground as though they had rained from the sky, and there was no way to avoid stepping on several mail items when trying to get from one place to another. The blanket of deliveries coating the carpet floor stretched throughout almost half of the entire room, which amounted to a pretty large quantity of items. Anthony passed the camera back to Ian so that he could film the experience.

Closing his eyes, Anthony let his hand rove freely over the assortment of items before brushing his hand across a particular envelope that gripped Anthony's curiosity like a vice. He snatched it up and opened his eyes, yelling, "Pikachu, I choose you!" He ripped the letter open without a second thought and spilled its contents onto his lap: a folded paper, two chartreuse matching unicorn Silly Bands (which made him want to vomit on the spot), and a Durex condom.

Carefully retrieving the condom from the pile, Anthony held it up to the camera. "Seriously? Is it bad that this isn't the first time this has happened?" He then unfolded the paper and read the short note  aloud, "So... I saw you two kissing in the last video. Sexy times are ahead!"

Ian groaned, "I bet that's all we're gonna find in the mail today... Fucking condoms!" He picked up the package closest to him and shook it a few times before prying it open with his aching fingers. As soon as it gave way to Ian's attempts at opening it, he dumped the innards onto the small patch of clear carpet beside him. There, he found a blonde wig similar to the one he had used to record the video that he kissed Anthony in and a picture that depicted a graphic scene between him and Anthony, Ian wearing the wig all the while.

"Nope... Our audience is much more creative with their stuff..." Anthony moaned, doing a face palm that was not visible on camera. "We better open all this shit today, or our house is gonna overflow with mail."

Package after package of sexual devices, letter after letter of sexy fanfictions and pictures, the two plowed through the assortment of deliveries, recording the entire session. It took about an hour and a half at least, and by that time, Ian and Anthony realized how much crap they had to clean up before their house would be restored to order once more. It looked as though a tornado had ripped through the previously neatly-stacked boxes and envelopes to create mass-destruction and chaos.

Anthony stared at the floor that had been completely overtaken by scraps of torn paper and cardboard and everything else that had been sent to their address. Then, he looked to Ian (who had at this point turned the camera off) and pointed out, "Our house has basically been turned into tumblr."