BLEAK

Chapter Five

5 - Chapter Possibly Triggering. Anything important will be reiterated later on. Read at own risk. If you don't want to read this part, skip to the '-' later in the chapter :) - H x -

I ignored everyone that night. My phone was switched off and on the side. My old iPod was playing old songs that I had forgotten into my head phones before Dad came in and ripped them out.

"Lauren, come on. Bed." Dad said, pulling out an earbud.

"I'd rather not." I stated, pulling the earbud out of his hand.

"Lauren..."

"What? Can you just leave me alone? I'm fine and I'll be at school tomorrow." I said.

Dad threw me a nervous glance before backing out of my dark room. I slipped the earbud back into my ear and sighed.

There was such a strong urge, it was hard to resist.

Finally, the urge was so strong I couldn't fight it.

I pulled off the bed covers and placed my feet quietly onto the carpet. I pulled myself up straight and tiptoed over to my vanity table.

Avoiding the mirror, I slowly opened the bottom drawer and rummaged around until I felt a sharp blade with my fingers.

I enclosed it in my palm and eased it out of the drawer, but left the drawer open.

I lifted the hem of my shorts high enough to expose the rest of my fading scars, with shaking fingers. Quickly, before I could change my mind, I dragged the blade across my thigh, opening my skin and exposing red blood, that was oozing out fast. I closed my eyes and cut myself thrice more. The blood all joined together and there was a dull aching sensation in my right thigh. Before I knew it, tears were pouring out of my eyes, silent streams running down my face, the blood was still coming.

After composing myself slightly, I grabbed the tissue box and pressed a wad to the wounds, containing the flow. The aching sensation was still there, but the initial sharp drag had gone.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched my leg, before reaching into the open drawer and picking out a box of plasters. I removed the tissue wad and places four thin plasters over the cuts, hiding them. In the morning, I'd cover them with foundation so they blend in with my skin.

Sighing, I hoisted myself up and shuffled back into bed and soon fell fast asleep, a relaxed state of mind taking hold.

-

"Are you okay?" Phoebe asked in concern, during fourth period - before lunch.

I can't blame her for wondering, I've been looking like a bear with a sore head - or aching thigh, in my case - for the whole day. Everyone in all classes had been throwing me wary glances as I didn't make any attempt to join in with class discussions. I had been on the brink of tears all the while, but knew I couldn't let them flow until lunch.

Twenty minutes of composure left.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, slapping on a fake smile as best I could.

Phoebe glanced at me, before putting her blonde head down and getting back to the task in hand.

Ella looked up, "Are you sure, Lo?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I repeated, frustration was overwhelming the urge to cry.

I'd hit someone if I wasn't careful.

"Miss?" I asked as Miss Gardener walked round the Maths class, inspecting work.

"Yes, Lauren?" Miss Gardener replied, looking at me curiously. I hadn't spoken a word since saying my name at the beginning of the lesson.

"Please may I go to the toilet?"

Miss Gardener sighed. "Can't you wait, lunch is in," She consulted her watch. "Fifteen minutes."

"No, Miss, I can't. Sorry. But I've done everything you set."

"Very well," She replied after glancing at my work and going over to her desk. She returned with a Toilet Pass. "Bring it back or you'll have a detention."

"Thanks." I muttered, heading out of the class.

Just as I was on the other side of the class room, Brooke grabbed my wrist, "Lauren, are you sure you're fine?" She whispered. It was a quiet whisper, but loud enough for Charlie Reed to look up.

"Lauren?" Brooke whispered back, "Shove off, Charlie, private conversation."

"I'm fine, honestly."

-

Kicking open the furthest toilet door open, I made my way in and immediately broke down. Locking the door, I hung my bag up on the peg on the back of the door and sat down on the closed toilet lid.

My sobs soon died down after three minutes, when I found I could cry no more. I just sat there, staring at the red door blankly. All emotion was lost and I had no way of regaining it it time, I'd just have to head back to Maths and ignore everyone.

The thought set off a bout of shivering and pang of nausea. I didn't want anyone seeing me looking like this; streaks on my face, red eyes.

I sighed and reached into my bag for the little zippy purse-thing I had made in Year Eight in Technology. Inside was a compact mirror, concealer, mascara and some face powder. All I'd need to make myself look presentable again.

Soon, I set myself up and began to repair the damage I had created.

I opened the mirror and inspected what had happened. The verdict was only Concealer and Powder would be needed.

The concealer opened and I dabbed it over the tear streaks before covering it up with powder. The coverage fit with the rest of my face just fine. After two years of doing this, I'd become quite good at it.

There was no red-eye puffiness, which was a bonus, but my lips did look quite chapped and I knew Cayden would want to grab me today, so I'd have to look semi-decent.

Pulling out an old Carmex, I coated my lips then packed everything away again.

I sighed in relief and headed back to maths.

Author'sNote:

Not really sure if I like this, but it's sort of a filler, I guess.

ANYWAY!

Vote and comment if you liked.
Vote and comment if you didn't.
:)

- H x