BLEAK

Chapter Twenty-Three

23

-End Of August; Week Before Starting Year Eleven-

The holidays flew past too fast for my likings. Most of the time was spent with either the girls, Jamie and Vince, Cayden, the guys or - on one occasion - all of us together. Surprisingly, the girls took an immediate liking to the guys and seemed happy enough to continue to hang out with them. But lots of the group went on holiday (I didn't) so it wasn't really many of us together at a time.

Jamie and Vince were informed about my concerns of my relationship and - surprisingly - were very supportive even though Cayden is one of their best friends apart from each other.

I finished sorting out the garage within the first three weeks of the holidays, much to Elliot's disappointment. Unfortunately, music had finished for the six weeks but would start up again when school resumed.

"Lauren?" A hand waved in front of my face.

"Hmm?" I asked, focusing my eyes. Not-Weird Matt, Ella and Vince were sat across from me, all looking slightly scared.

Ella had - FINALLY - got rid of nineteen-year-old Kian on realising he was moving too fast for her to handle. Since this revaluation, her and Not-Weird Matt had gotten a lot closer. We were all placing bets on how long it would take for the guy to ask her out.

"Are you okay?" Vince asked, brow furrowed in concern.

"'Course she's not okay, have you been inside her head lately?" Ella asked, punching Vince on the shoulder.

"I'm fine, seriously." I muttered, grabbing the fruit smoothie from in front of me. The four of us were currently in McDonalds making the most of a stress-free week. A few others had been invited - Phebs and Callum - but it was doubted they'd actually turn up.

"Are you sure?" Not-Weird Matt asked.

I nodded. "Trust me," I raised my plastic cup. "Here's to good luck with GCSE's, relationships and the future!"

They all raised their own cups and faked clinked them together making us all giggle.

"I'm so happy for Phebs and Callum," Ella sighed happily. Phoebe and Callum did make a really attractive couple due to Phoebe's half-Japanese heritage and Callum's height.

"Mm, they're so cute." I agreed, ignoring the stares from Vince. He was obviously daring me to say 'And you and Not-Weird Matt'.

"I wonder what's going to happen to us after high school. There's college, but you're going to a different one to us." Ella pouted and fiddled with the straw in her drink.

It was true, everyone - literally all our friends - were planning on going to the local college. But me being me, had decided that one a bit more out of the way was the one for me. The girls had whined for years before realising Brooke was planning on actually leaving the country once sixteen. That had turned the attention elsewhere.

"Sorry," I shrugged and drank some of my smoothie. "It's my choice, Elle, it's up to me."

Ella's pout stayed firm on her lips, "Well, your sixteenth birthday's Flipagram is going to be the best one yet!"

"And by best, you mean worst pictures?"

Ella nodded eagerly causing us all to burst out laughing.

But what she had said stuck in my mind.

What was going to happen to us?

Sure, I'd make sure to call and meet up with them, but what would I do if they found a Lauren Replacement?

That brought me onto another thought, it was my birthday on the twentieth of September, I'd have to break up with Cayden before then.

As much as it pained me to say it, it was definitely the right decision. Ella had managed to wrangle it out of me and she was pretty much buzzing. She'd never really liked us going out.

Cayden and I weren't meant to be together. Though we'd spent a lot of time together during the holidays, the original excitement and energy had pretty much evaporated. I found no joy in our relationship anymore. No fun in being together, though the stupid boy seemed completely oblivious.

A thought struck me. He'd never been dumped before, had he? How would he take it? How would it affect him? Although these questions concerned me, I couldn't risk not doing it.

I knew what I had to do.

-

"Hey, CeCe, can you meet me?" I asked down the phone. I had excused myself from the table and headed to the toilets to speak to him. An old woman gave me a weird look as she exited a stall.

"Yeah, sure. Where?" Cayden answered, quite eagerly. A shooting pain shot through me.

"The park?" I asked.

"See you in ten?"

"See you in ten."

-

I wandered into the same park we had initiated our deal: Make Holly jealous. This had defiantly worked, the death glares were still following me.

The bench we had first spoke about it was free and I made my way towards it. Seemed obvious to start and finish something in the same place.

God, what will he think? Will the pieces come together? Will he realise?

"Hey, Lo," Cayden's voice came out. He sat down on the bench beside me. I played with the hair band which was forever on my wrist. "You okay?"

"In all honesty, not really," I gulped and fought back unexplanatory tears.

His eyes widened, "What's wrong?" He went to touch my shoulder.

I jerked backwards, away from his touch. "This is so hard..."

"What?"

I breathed in. "I can't be with you anymore. Honestly, it's the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm just not happy anymore and I'm almost entirely sure all feelings have gone. I had so much fun, it made me regain my trust in guys, but I just can't do this..."

Cayden didn't reply, he was looking at his hands, facing away from me.

"I'm so sorry. I really am. I just..." Suddenly, he stood up and faced me, cutting my speech off.

"I don't need an explanation. Fuck, this is a shock, but it's your decision. I've noticed you've been vacant recently and I don't blame you. The time we spent together was honestly amazing... But, I hope we can still be friends?" Cayden extended a hand.

I swear I almost jumped into his arms right now. But this was the best thing I had hoped for, we were still friends. I don't think I could live without seeing the big oaf.

I took his hand a shook it firmly. He smiled at me though his eyes were covered in tears.

"Friends."