Sanity ~ A Luna Lovegood Fanfiction

The Aftermath

After we finished hugging and laughing, I sat back from Neville and reality started to set in. I finally began to comprehend what had happened.

Voldemort was dead and that was incomprehensible in itself but he wasn't the only one dead. So many brilliant wizards and witches. They fought against evil and they sacrificed their bodies in the name of good. In a desolate wave of realisation, I began to see that I would never see Lavender Brown, clutched to another Gryffindor, giggling and gossiping. I would never watch as Fred pulled a prank, laughing hysterically at the result. I would never sit at a desk, quill in hand, edging forward in my seat, listening to a fantastical story told by Professor Lupin.

As I stared into Neville delightfully hazelnut eyes, I saw their faces, dead and cold and empty. It was easy for the tears to begin to stream down my face.

Then the worst came. I hadn't even been around the hall. I hadn't scoped the grounds. Who else was dead that I didn't even know about? I turned away from Neville, running through my mind. When was the last time I saw Cho Chang, or Michael Corner, or the Patil twins? Were any of them still alive?

I jumped up from the bench, desperate. The Great Hall became my track as I ran up and down the rows of students and casualties. I almost went over on my ankle more than once, wobbling on the soles of my feet. I continuously swiped at the tears falling from my face.

Bodies upon bodies. Yellow and distorted. Stiff and wounded. I couldn't slow down to catch my breath, it made me gag. And despite my efforts, the tears kept falling, and falling, and falling, and I stopped swiping, there was no use, I just let them fall.

Then a face I knew stood out among the crowd. A face that used to be so full of life excitement.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, thank you.

His face was unmoving. Dead. His brother hugged his body. His parents were probably at home, completely unaware of what had happened.

"Colin," I whispered on an exhale of breath. My lungs were moving so rapidly. My legs were so exhausted, my knees shaking and weak that I collapsed to the ground.

He was lying on a grubby, white stretcher, his arms hanging limply and awkwardly by his sides. He was my friend. He wasn't embarassed by being seen talking to me. He wasn't normal, just like me.

But unlike me, he was dead.

I shook my head, shaking more tears out of my eyes. I dropped my head, hugging the cold stone floor. I was paralysed. 

Something warm touched the quaking arch of my back. I looked up, using my arms to shade my face. Neville was crouched low to the ground beside me.

"It's going to be okay, Luna. Okay? It's going to be okay." His soothing words couldn't snap me out of my hysterics. They were meaningless.

"No, it isn't okay," I argued, trembling. Even my words came out warbled. "Neville, it's not okay when everyone's dead.

Neville raises my head and guided me to lean against him. His warm body replaced the cold stone. He wrapped his arms around my shaking body. I cried into his shirt but the more I did, the less I needed to cry. Oddly, his touch was calming.

"Hey," he said firmly, forcing me to look up. "I'm here, you're here. We're all here." I wiped my drenched cheek on his shoulders. "It's going to get better. Just remember that I'm here, okay?"

He held onto me tightly. As much as he was comforting me, I think he was comforting himself as well. We hugged for what felt like hours.

Time didn't matter anymore. He was holding me, my living, breathing body. And I had him in my arms, in all his aliveness. For the moment, nothing else but this hug mattered.

***

"Hey," Harry introduced. With Voldemort being dead, I don't think he had much else to talk about.

"Harry," Neville said, having slowly let go of me.

"Nagini didn't stand a chance, mate."

Neville chuckled genuinely and Harry pulled him in for a hug.

It went from one extreme to another around here. From laughing with no cares in the world to crying like the weight of the world was bearing down on us, and back to laughing again.

I swiped my cheeks furiously before Harry turned to me.

"Are you feeling okay, Luna? That bump looks pretty bad."

"I'm fine. She's got a lot worse things to worry about," I assured him. I accidentally brushed my hand over my forehead and felt a jolt of pain.

Before I knew what was happening, Harry had his arms around me and was hugging me tight.

"Harry," I said, shocked. The blood and sweat mingling on his face reminded me of the gore we had all witnessed only a few hours previously. As he was about to pull away, I clung even tighter.

"Harry," I repeated, scolding him. "You're not allowed to die. Never again."

It caught him off guard just as much as his hug had caught me off guard. He looked troubled. "I'll try," he said, forcing himself to chuckle.

"I'm being serious."

He diverted his eyes away. "I better go find Ginny, she said-"

That's when Ginny arrived at his shoulder and he relaxed as soon as he laid eyes on her.

"How are you two doing?" she asked, looking pointedly at Neville and I and giving a weak smile.

Ron followed. From his expression, I got the impression that he wasn't willing to let his little sister out of his sight anytime soon. Hermione trailed behind him, joining our dispondent, muddled group.

"Ah, Hermione. The library was destroyed," Harry said at her arrival, painting his face pensively. "All that's left is rubble and ash."

"Shut up, Harry," Hermione hissed, glancing around the group with a quier smile gleaming from the corner of her eye.

"He's not lying, Hermione, I saw it," Neville said seriously.

"Right, no one go near Madam Pince, she's grumpy on the best of days," Ron added.

"Oh, Ron, you're hilarious," Ginny said mockingly.

"Okay, okay," Harry announced, throwing his arms wide. "Group hug, before we all try to murder each other."