Sanity ~ A Luna Lovegood Fanfiction

Potions

I sighed as I strained my eyes in the dim room, watching as muggy fumes expelled from the cauldron where the ingredients bubbled and puffed.

"You see here, Miss Lovegood, see what's happened?" Professor Slughorn prompted, clearly in his element.

I nodded belatedly, and scribbled onto my parchment. Add the dittany root and stir... wait, was it clockwise or counterclockwise?

This was how each of my Friday evenings would be spent for the rest of the year. At least until the professor deemed me fit to continue with Potions unassisted. Professor Slughorn seemed pleased to arrange extra classes with me and I had to pretend that I enjoyed them, too.

"You've got that written down, yes? Now, do you remember, how is the next ingredient added?"

There was a sturdy knock on the thick door of the classroom and, graciously, I was dismissed from having to answer.

"Come in," Professor Slughorn called, moving away from the table.

The door opened with a creak. I didn't turn around to see who it was but pretty soon I would know nevertheless.

"Excuse me, sir, I was looking to borrow your textbook." It was impossible to ignore the distinctive drawl, the encumbering tone.

"Ah, Draco, come in," the professor said warmly. "Lovegood and I are just in the middle of brewing a Wiggenweld Potion."

My head snapped back and there he was, lumbering by the doorway. His eyes registered me and, even from across the room, I noticed him stiffening.

"Very good, sir," Malfoy replies after desperately clearing his throat.

He'd bee  around the castle for a few weeks now but I was easily avoiding him.  Everytime I saw the standout hair bobbing along in the corridor, I skilfully slid out of view. I wasn't been able to face him, not then. I thought that I was. I thought I could look him straight in the eye and see him, not the terrible memories of Malfoy Manor resurfacing. I thought I could move on. But obviously, I wasn't ready.

He was moving along the edge of the dungeon, sticking close to the wall as he approached Professor Slughorn. The sweating stone walls, the pressing low ceiling, the echo of the sound of his shoes and his slackened face, floating above me, it brought me right back to the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. I felt myself crawling on the ground again, I saw his unmoving eyes avoiding mine as his father towered above me.

Heat rose in my chest. My skin itched. I dropped my quill and the remnants of ink pooled out of it, staining my parchment.

Professor Slughorn's eyes were diverted from me. He engaged himself with Draco and they spoke lowly for a few minutes, discussing whatever two people interested in potions discuss. He slapped Draco on the back companionably and then rooted in the cabinet for whatever Draco had come to collect.

"Now, are you sure you don't want to stay and watch?" Slughorn asked, gesturing to the table in front of me laden with vials and ingredients and the steaming cauldron in the middle. It snapped me back into the present. I shook from my mind the thoughts of Malfoy Manor, fervidly reminding myself that I was in Hogwarts, in the Potions classroom.

"No, I better get back to studying," Draco replied easily, causing Professor Slughorn to rumble an affable laugh.

"Brilliant!" he proclaimed stoutly, going in for another back-clap. He walked Draco back to the doorway and I heard him lower his voice again. "You may have heard, there's an upcoming Slug Club celebration I'm organising, this Saturday coming..."

I ignored their conspiratorial conversing, distracting myself by picking up my quill again and noting down any words that sounded important. But I got distracted even from that and ended up doodling, my mind tracing the patterns of nature, scrawling down the bulky snout of a Porlock.

"Back to it, I suppose," Slughorn announced, his mood having shifted noticeably. He couldn't hide his disappointment at returning to me after engaging with such a riveting student as Draco.

I didn't answer.