Sanity ~ A Luna Lovegood Fanfiction

Returning to Hogwarts

My long, dream-like summer was over abruptly. A distant thing of the past. Back at school, everyone around me was forcing themselves to feel as though everything was normal. As though the last school term in which we were all bullied, abused and pitted against each other had never happened.

It felt almost as if everything had been swept into a neat and tidy pile, under the rug, for no one to have to worry about ever again. But even if you can't see the dirt anymore, the knowledge that it's still there has the power to eat away at you, chewing put your insides. 

There was a shortage of first years. The Sorting Ceremony seemed a lot briefer than usual. As the school gathered in the Great Hall, it was plain to see gaps among the seated students.

The empty seats and the mismatched friend groups did little to unease the Ravenclaws around me. They were content to chatter and gossip idly, apparently ignoring the cruel events that had taken place in this very room over the last year.

Professor McGonogall's sole objective was to boost morale. As the Headmistress, she gave a rousing speech focused on determination and perserverance, encouraging us all to work hard throughout the next year.

Bearing in mind that I'm not as fluent as the professor herself, if I had to paraphrase the body of the speech it would sound something like this:

"It is our duty to remember the souls that have been lost. We must never forget the terrible things that have occured here in this hall. To forget our history is to fall back into the patterns that lead us to defeat in the past.

What we must do is move forward in confident strides. We must have faith in ourselves and in our school. I have faith in every one of you here today. I look forward to teaching you, guiding you and working hard alongside you as your new Headmistress.

As simple wizards and witches we may wither and die, reunited with the earth from which we were first birthed. But I urge you to remember that we are connected and united not only as a school but as companions. In this life, we will struggle, we will fall where we could've flown but Hogwarts is our stronghold, our fort, our home. Long after we are gone, Hogwarts will remain. Remember that, Hogwarts will never die."

It inspired me, and I clearly wasn't the only one. The applause exploded like celebratory bells. The Hall was pulsing with hope and pride and joy.

It sounded like the start of something new and fresh. Like the world would finally start turning in harmony. But I would soon find out that old habits die hard and people rarely change.

After the official formalities, I didn't pay attention to much else other than the humble mashed potatoes, carrots and spinach that I had settled comfortably on my plate. As soon as I was permitted to leave, I took the long route throughout the castle, reacquainting myself with each tapestry and hidden passage in the ornate walls along the way. After so long away, I still remembered each twist and turn.

When I arrived in my dorm, the girls around me were full and jolly, content to ignore me. The blue-hued, arch-ceilinged room, my trunk neatly untouched at the end of my sparkly-duveted bed, did not feel as welcoming as it usually did.

I decided that to clear my mind and find some peace, I would have to get some fresh air. As I emerged into the common room, a fiendish boy I knew as Gregory Pumpleskin grinned unpleasantly and consulted a shiny magazine in his hands.

"Dear Luna, please come home," Gregory announced, reading from the pages in his hands in a violently mocking tone, "I ardently appeal to my one and only daughter, the most special witch in the whole world, to come back to me. I miss you more than I could ever attempt to organise into words. I know I hurt you but I'm begging you to remember how much I love you. To my loyal and courteous readers, I ask you to help me to find-"

I stopped in my tracks, mystified. Gregory's gloating eyes were scanning the column in front of him. He inflated his voice with each word to project his mockery into every inch of the room. I heard snickers from all around me.

The well-intended words were sickening as they came from his mouth. I approached him calmly and pronounced, "Relashio." The magazine slipped through his fingers and landed in my upturned palms. He tried to accio it out of my grip but I wasn't letting go. I pranced out of the room, nimbly avoiding his swipes and grabs.

On the other side of the door, I could hear laughter becoming louder as the boy said again, "Please, Loony, come home."

It was dark in the corridors. Night was arriving quickly, covering the castle as a cloak against the wind. As long as I walked light-footed and swift, I wouldn't be caught.

Finally outside, I scurried along the path that skirted the length of the castle grounds. I made it to the edge of the forest, stared into its murky depths and found a sizable rock to sit on.

I pinched the paper in my fingers, looking down apprehensively. The friendly purple writing made my breath slow. The Quibbler.

I read the edition from cover to cover. On page four, I found a smaller Luna gazing back at me. The title to the column was "Luna, Come Home," accompanied by a little picture of myself, smiling dreamily.

My father spoke from the page, not sounding one bit like Gregory did as he read it out in the common room. Daddy's weak, wrinkled face and sunken eyes pleaded with me. I realised then that the notice had become a monthly addition to The Quibbler. It had been published in every edition since the day I left my father.

As it got darker, I summoned a lumos. I continued reading, every word of every article. From Will Kingsley Break the Ministry's Shackles? to How to Say Goodbye to Loser's Lurgy for Good and Befriending Your Garden Gnome.

Only when the last page was turned did I realise that fat, wet tears were spilling from my eyes. The wind that blew down the lawn from the height of the castle dried the tears on my cheeks so that I felt two tear tracks fracturing my face.

I crept back to the castle, undisturbed along the way and taking my time in the blackness. I cast a spell to ensure my feet made no sound. The bronze eagle knocker on the Ravenclaw door was appeased by my correct answer to her riddle and didn't pass any remarks at my being out so late.

I said goodnight to Rowena, frozen in stone as the noble statue that stood in the common room. Then I mounted the tightly spiralling steps to my dorm. My dormmates, Ramona, Natalie and Amanda, were soundly asleep when I arrived.

I unbuckled my trunk and lay my new copy of The Quibbler delicately at the top. As quickly as I could, I crept into bed and wrapped my arms around myself, my numb limbs unwavering against the warmth of the room, hoping for sleep to meet with me soon.