Sanity ~ A Luna Lovegood Fanfiction

Neville Longbottom

The last few words had just burst out of my mouth, I hadn't really even meant to say it, it was as if my mouth had just acted without consulting my brain first.

"I knew it!" Hermione exclaimed, "I knew it!"

"We were already aware that you know everything, Hermione. What's your point?" Ginny teased with a giggle.

"Ginny, didn't I tell you? I knew it."

"It's not like that," I interrupted, digging the toe of my shoe against the rickety floorboards. "We're not in a relationship or anything."

"I knew there was something between you," Hermione insisted, "the way he looked at you, I could tell. It's the way Ginny used to look at Harry." She beamed a wide smile. 

Ginny rolled her eyes at the comment but then turned to look at me. "Go on, tell us everything." 

"No, I shouldn't have mentioned it." My eyes have been dragged away from them both and back to Ginny's window looking out over the bright meadows and the flourishing valleys that lay beyond. 

My mind had had a brief moment of a slip, clinging on to the thought of Neville Longbottom and the hope that my friends could help me. I realised that I had been trying to suppress my feelings of fondness and concern for Neville and once they came to they surface they erupted. 

But now I had shook those fleeting thoughts away and as I gazed out the window all I could think of was my home. I longed to be there, in my happy place, away from all social obligations, among my trinkets, my memories and all my dreams. 

"Luna?" Hermione looked puzzled. 

"Sorry?" 

"Why did you bring it up if you didn't want to talk about it?"

I needed to get away. Home was calling for me and it would be a bad idea to discuss anything to do with Neville Longbottom. 

"I think the wrackspurts are getting to me," I disclosed. That would explain things, that must be why I had been feeling so confounded and out of place. "I'm sorry for troubling you, I best be going." 

I concentrated on casting a charm to carry my trunk behind me. 

"Just know how grateful I am for everything you've done for me," I said at the door. 

Hermione looked occupied with unease and Ginny opened her mouth as if to say something but closed it shortly after. 

When I turned away, a scene burst before my eyes as I suddenly remembered what had happened on the Astronomy Tower. The ardent look in his eyes when all he could do was look at me and the protective scope of his arms around me. His care and consideration of investing in how I was and the feel of his soft lips against mine. My heart fluttered in my chest. It wasn't just the wrackspurts affecting my conscience. 

I glanced back from where I had turned to see if maybe Hermione and Ginny were looking after me and hoping for my return. But I saw them standing, unmoved, and whispering fervently to each other. 

I felt a ripple of shame come over me, heating my chest uncomfortably. I had hoped that after the chaos and distress of the Battle we would all come together, renewed in our friendship after working so hard and fighting alongside one another. 

I realised then that I would never fit in. I'm sure Hermione and Ginny were fond of me, at least a little. Surely their affections had changed since the first time we'd met and everyone thought me odd, but I knew that the closeness they had for one another would never extend so far as to include me. 

It was okay, it was fine. We respected each other. I was so thankful for the love they had showed me in rescuing me and giving me a place to sleep but right then I accepted that I was alone in this life. I would take all the help that was ever to be offered to me but, in the end, my life was my responsibility. 

I justified this to myself as I descended the stairs. I was exhausted. I really wanted to go home.