Conversations With Ana

1

1

The sun was too bright, I thought.

I squinted up at the sun.

I could only make out some of the giant golden orb through the trees branches and leaves.

A cloud passed over the sun, and like a light bulb flickering out, I was cast into darkness.

"What a shame." I mused to myself out loud.

I brought my cigarette to my lips and took a drag.

I turned my face so I no longer saw a blue sky and green leaves.

Instead I had the pleasure to be eye level with dusty firt and converse that needed a good cleaning.

"Hi, Mel."

"Since when do you stand me up?"

I ignored her and looked back up at the skyline.

"Ana."

The tone of her voice made me look up.

Her pretty blue eyes that were the same color as the sky glared down at me.

"Did you eat today?"

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

This again.

"I ate."

"What'd you eat?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Why are you suicidal?"

We both fell silent.

I took a drag from my cigarette.

I held the smoke in.

I did this frequently.

I liked to hold my smoke in and hold my breath,

I began to count.

7 seconds.

13.

21.

28.

32.

37.

My lungs began to burn.

43.

Black dots swarmed my vision.

52.

Mel's foot connected with my side, hard.

I let out the smoke and began to sputter and cough.

"You need to stop doing that. You're going to kill yourself one day."

"That's the plan."

She rolled her eyes.

"If you kill yourself then I'm going to bring you back to life so I can kill you myself."

"Not so sure it works that way, Mel."

"You're a pessimist. You see the world differently than I do. So shut up."

"Not pessimistic. Just depressed."

"You're gonna be real depressed when I kick your butt."

"Go ahead. I invite you to hit me. All forms of pain are welcome to me."

She rolled her eyes at me.

Yet again, I ignored her annoyance.

"Why'd you even come out here, Ana?"