Conversations With Ana

22

22

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

I groaned, pain spreading through my skull and my entire body.

The persistent beeping was driving me insane.

I reached out, trying to hit snooze on the alarm clock, but when my hand came in contact with nothing but air, my heart dropped.

I opened my eyes and blinked, blinded by a light that was shining directly down at me.

I turned my head to the side and saw the heart monitor sign.

My eyes widened and I flailed my arms, trying to hit the button that would bring a nurse in.

It turned out, I didn't even need to hit the button because a nurse came running in as the amplitude on my heart monitor started to go wild.

She stroked my hair and tried to calm me, muttering soothing words to me.

I stared at her wide eyed as she pulled out a need and stabbed into my arm.

I counted down from ten with the nurse and when we got to one, it felt like a wave of calm rippled through me.

I didn't feel one ounce of panic in my tiny body, anymore.

The nurse sat on the bed next to me, wearing a sympathetic look.

She wore a sad smile as she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"We were all rooting for you, sweetheart. You've been out since your surgery."

I licked my lips, forcing my tongue and lips to work together so I could form words.

"When was my surgery?"

The words came out slow and slurred, but they had made it out of my mouth and that was all I cared about.

"Late last night. It's been almost 30 hours. Only you and one of the boys are awake. The other girl just got out of another surgery and the other boy..."

She hesitated and I waited for her to continue.

When she didn't, I asked: "What about the other boy? What's wrong with him?"

The nurse sighed and stood up.

"You just woke up, I'm not so sure I should tell you yet. But you have family here who want to see you. I told them that they'll just have to wait until tomorrow. You need to sleep for now."

I watched her walk out, feeling numb.

I looked up at the ceiling again.

The light hurt my eyes but it hurt less than the aching in my chest.

I wouldn't be able to sleep.

Not knowing that either Gordon or Shane could be seriously injured.

I reached up and ran my fingers over stitches that were there.

I wondered if I actually had a concussion or it was a minor cut.

I glanced at my arms and saw that the pale skin there was littered with cuts and bruises.

I gripped the sheets tightly as tears stung the cuts on my face.

I turned my head and quietly sobbed into the pillow.

After some time, my tears had dried and I was left alone with my heartache and guilt.

I waited hours and hours for the sun to rise so I could see my family.