Harry

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Chapter 20

As the plane careened down the runway, I'd been utterly terrified for my life. Now that we sat in the unmoving plane, still in the middle of the long stretch of grey asphalt, I looked over at Kate, barely able to breathe. All of the insanity that we'd endured in our attempt to stay alive had nearly gotten us killed for what felt like the millionth time. My pulse pounded, and I realized that if it hadn't been for Kate, I would be dead. The plane would've crashed into the ocean if she hadn't found the dead pilot, but the plane wouldn't have ever left the airport if we hadn't been able to get away from those men in London. It dawned on me that Kate was the only thing that was saving my life, but she was also the reason it was in danger in the first place. 

I didn't know how to feel about it. 

I pushed the thoughts out of my mind. What was the use in thinking about something that was no longer relevant? All it would do was create hard feelings between us. It was much too late to prevent getting this cuff on my wrist, and now Kate was the only hope I had for survival. She was the only one that could safely remove the cuff without injecting me with the nanites. For a moment, I thought about what I would do when the cuff finally came off. I should just leave her behind, I thought. This was never my fight, and it still isn't. Louis was already dead because of her, and God forbid I should go down on her sinking ship too. If it was sink or swim, I shouldn't tie myself to this anchor. My stomach churned as all the thoughts clogged my brain. No matter how much I wanted to leave, I couldn't because I would always worry about her if I did. Kate was strong enough to survive, and I knew she didn't need my help, but deep down, some part of me wondered if she really did. I wanted to know if she felt for me the things I felt for her. I wanted-- no, I needed-- to know. If I had to sink or swim, float or drown, I realized that I would gladly go down with her ship because being without her already felt like drowning. 

Looking down at the corpse of the pilot, I worried for a moment that I was leading the men to her because of the cuff. If that was the case, then we could both wind up dead. The thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I glanced out the windshield of the plane and into the calming blue of the sky. I realized with much optimism that it wouldn't much matter in a short while. This little ring of death would be leaving me soon. I couldn't wait to be free of it. I would embrace the safety, what relative little bit I could get; the cloud of death that always seemed to loom over me would finally be gone, and I started to get excited for it. 

Soon.

Soon would never soon enough. 

Out of the stunned silence that I had hardly realize had developed, Kate startled me as she bust into laughter. It didn't seem to go with the mood that clung to the air like glue. I shot a glance in her direction with a questioning look on my face. I reached up to rub my hand through my hair like I usually would, momentarily forgetting that I was bald now. It was a weird feeling, and I sat awkwardly as my hand landed on the bare skin of my scalp. I was a tiny bit relieved that I could already feel teensy prickles of hair beginning to grow back. 

"What's so funny?"

"We're still alive," she said with a sigh, collapsing back into the pilot's chair. "It's insane." She looked up at the ceiling of the cockpit, and the silence returned. She laughed slightly once more, and then locked her bright blue eyes onto mine, with a small smile on her features that teased me.

"You know what?" I rushed to fill the silence before it had the chance to get awkward again. I wouldn't let it. "I don't care. I love the insanity." Kate gave me a funny look, as if she didn't quite follow my train of thought.

"You're telling me that you like almost getting killed every five minutes?" I laughed loudly at the silliness of her question. I didn't know why I found it so hilarious. Maybe it was because deep down, I was nervous that she was going to laugh at me when I vomited up the words and emotions. I wished this would be less awkward, but it seemed as if the situation only got more so with every passing second that I waited. 

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