zelda; mc

xii

|august 2015, age 18|
listen to moments by one direction

"okay and do you have your carry on?" colleen said.

"i'm not leaving until tomorrow! i have everything i'm pretty sure." lily laughed.

"yes but you're pretty sure. not one hundred percent."

"how about i can double check i have everything and you can leave?" lily suggested pushing colleen out of her room.

"fine, fine, fine."

lily looked around at her empty furniture and all the boxes scattered in her room. she tried blinking back tears that came from remembering all the memories she had in that room.

all the times michael climbed through her window, the lazy days where they would just bum around and play video games, everything seemed to go by so fast. she wanted to do it all again, but she couldn't. that was her once in lifetime. for the first time in eighteen years, lily realized life wasn't a nintendo game. she couldn't just have a magic fairy make everything better, she couldn't do everything again. but she wanted to. she hated the idea of leaving. all the horrible thoughts that michael would make a new bestfriend in maine, and lily would do the same. but there's no way, lily would never forget about him. and it's not like they'd never see each other again, just instead of everyday, maybe once a year. lily would be in japan for the whole summer as part of her major, which means it would be a year until she saw michael again. and as she picked up her purple controller and placed it carefully in a box, she couldn't help but cry.

"lil?" she heard someone say, michael had climbed through her window.

"why is life such a bitch? it gives you something so amazing just to take it away right before your eyes..."

michael pulled lily into a tight hug, "nothing can ever take this away, even if we're miles apart."

"but michael this is the end. no more playing video games at three am, no more sharing pizzas, no more sleepovers, no more of your amazing hugs." lily cried.

"i know, but maybe life has a plan for us, for all of us. that we will fall in love, get heartbroken, make friends, loose friends, have something that no one could ever take away, be well, taken away. but in the end we are all going to be okay. this is life's plan for us lil, no matter how much we hate it."

lily wiped a tear with the back of her hand, "you mean so much to me michael, it's too hard to say goodbye."

"then don't say goodbye," he smiled. "say au revior. until we see each other again."

lily smiled back, "i'm leaving first thing tomorrow to catch my flight, i have a mere couple of hours left with my best friend... what do you want to do?"

michael pulled out his phone and smirked, "well i actually have been wanting to do this for a very long time," he pressed a few buttons and music began playing. he stood up and took lily by the hand so she also stood up. "you didn't have a prom. so ms lilian, may i have this dance?"

"of course," she smiled. for the next few minutes they spun around the room doing whatever dance they've seen at weddings and in tv.

for the rest of the night they danced and laughed and cried until it was midnight.

"i don't even want to say this," michael said with tears in his eyes now. "but you have to be up in five hours to catch your plane." he swung his right leg over the window cill and took a shaky breath. "au revior lily."

"wait michael, i just... i just need to say thank you for an everything, i love you. au revior."

"i love you more, zelda." he smiled softly bringing his other leg over and jumping from the window.

lily could hardly sleep that night. and in the morning as her dad drove her to the airport, she just wanted to cry. she was wearing michael's grey sweater that she stole from him that one day it still kinda smelled like him.

once she had boarded the plane and got in her seat she burst into tears.

"are you okay sweetie?" a 60 something year old women said next to her.

"yeah, fine. it's just i'm on my way to miami for college and it was hard to say goodbye to someone."

the women nodded, "oh yes, i remember when i left my husband and my children. it was something i had to do. i of course regret it. never got to see them grow up."

"why did you leave?" lily sniffed.

"i didn't think i could be settled down any longer. i had my first son when i was sixteen you see, i had been in the same place since then, i thought i didn't want that. so i left when my youngest was just four or five years old."

"is that why parents leave then?" lily asked.

"well, maybe not all parents, why?"

lily shrugged, "it's just, my mom left me when i was little and i never knew why."

"that's a shame darling."

lily just shrugged and nodded.

"so who was it you had trouble saying goodbye to?"

lily sighed, "my best friend michael, we've been friends for over thirteen years and i just never imagined life without him."

"the best thing to do, is to never say good bye. i know it's a way to tie things up but you'll see him again and think about him again right?"

"i know ill never stop thinking about him... i mean i love him. i am so in love with him i just-" as soon as lily realized what she had just said she quickly put her hand over her mouth. sure she always told michael she loved him, but she never meant it in that way. they were best friends, this was odd.

but the women smiled, "love is one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen. once you have it you can't let it go like i did. i always wonder if my husband found love, or my son or daughters. i always hoped if they did they wouldn't let it slip away."

"i just never admitted to myself or anyone i felt that way about him." said lily still shocked.

"well he ought to know don't you think?"

"what if he doesn't feel the same way though, i could ruin our friendship. oh no why why did i haw to fall in love. this sucks." lily mumbled.

"if you were one of my daughters, i would tell you to go out and tell him don't be the girl who never told someone she loved them, because who knows how he feels."

"so this is the kinda stuff my mom would tell me if she didn't run off huh?" lily chuckled softly. "these talks would've been useful."

"i'm sure your mother is very sorry wherever she is now."

and lily she was.

+

the epilogue is next i am not ready
i cried while writing this oh my it was hard