"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy the ice cream while it's on your plate." – Thornton Wilder
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"Sushi, I have news!"
"Fletcher, I'm waiting for my dentist appointment in the lobby and it's dead silent in here. Don't shout, for god's sake."
"Weren't you at a dentist appointment a month ago?"
"My regular checkup was last month, but I chipped my tooth a couple of days ago, so I need to get it patched up."
"Oh god, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me. Carry on, what were you saying?"
"I'm rich, Sushi! Rich, I tell you!"
"Ow, that's so loud! Why did I think it was a good idea to put you on speakerphone?"
"I found twenty cents on the ground! I'm rich!"
"You're so lame, you dweeb."
"Dweeb? Is that even a word?"
"If you acquaint yourself with a dictionary, which I sincerely doubt, then let me know. Besides, don't you get money from work?"
"Yeah. But it's like, minimum wage."
"Oh."
"..."
"..."
"How's your dentist appointment going, Sushi-with-salmon-and-avocado?"
"Don't call me that. I can barely tolerate Sushi. But salmon and avocado? Retch."
"Okay, then what's up, buttercup?"
"My cup does not feel buttered."
"That sounds so wrong!"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert!"
"Why are we screaming?!"
"Because you're a dumbass!"
"Get to your dentist appointment, already!"
"Make me!"
"You're probably attracting a lot of stares right now!"
"I am!"
"Then zip your salmon and avocado lips shut, you silly sushi!"
"I hate you!"
"I know!"
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
