"Fudge is a noun, a verb, an interjection, and delicious!" – Terri Guillemets
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"I'm back!"
"I noticed!"
"So, how did you convince Erin to be your knight in shining armour?"
"Erin the Smokin' Hot got Alex to hack into the victim's Instagram and posted a collage which depicted her many cheating scandals over the years."
"How did she–"
"I don't know how she got hold of the photos either, but they're scandalous."
"Wow."
"Wow is correct, and the best part was that none of them actually knew she had cheated on them until now, so she got a nasty surprise when they confronted her at once."
"Damn, Erin knows how to bring the fucking thunder down on her victims."
"Also, we found out that she was basically about to fail every subject at school, so we stuck a bunch of old exam papers on her new car. You know the old, cover a car with post-it notes trick? Imagine that, but with Statistics, English, Chemistry, Biology, Latin, and French exam papers."
"Wow, that's impressive, encouraging her to educate herself while screwing her over at the same time. On the more realistic side of things, isn't that sort of over the top?"
"Erin said it was the perfect way to get revenge, so I just went with it."
"Well, yes, she cheated on the guys and spread your secret everywhere, but–"
"I know, I know, but she also said that I was too weird to ever get a girlfriend, and good riddance that my dad is dead, since he doesn't need to pass his genes down to any other weirdos."
"..."
"..."
"Excuse me while I go grab my machete."
"Sushi, it's okay! No machetes or bloodshed on my behalf. I'm over it."
"Are you sure? I think I have a pitchfork lying around somewhere–"
"Yes, Sushi, I'm sure."
"Well, I apologize again for the past couple of weeks. I didn't know half the stuff you were going through, and I'm super duper sorry for being so difficult. Do you forgive me?"
"Is Sushi wrapped in seaweed and does it have a rice filling?"
"I'm guessing that's Fletcher code for yes?"
"It's not just a yes."
"It's not?"
"It's a hell to the yeah."
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
