"If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream." – Frank Ocean
Note: Special thanks to inevitxble for the cover featured above!
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"Hey, while you're at the store, could you get the shop a few more tubs of blueberry ice cream? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"What am I, your personal chore-doer? Get it yourself, asshole."
"We usually get basic ice cream flavours delivered from another company, but they're not going to arrive for another two days."
"My previous statement still stands."
"Sushi, it's a few miles from the shop to the nearest store that sells somewhat decent ice cream. It's more convenient if you buy it! Ugh, forget it. I'll get the ice cream myself. You're impossible."
"Is your shop in an isolated barren wasteland or something?"
"We're actually in the midst of a mall."
"But then–"
"A mall generally sells clothing and other inedible items, Sushi."
"The food court–"
"Sells food that the stores jazz up, not plain, large tubs of ice cream."
"Oh, that makes sense."
"If this shop was actually in a barren wasteland, Melanie would be the sharp cactus that stabs the shit out of us when we stop working."
"That seems appropriate."
"Also, every story has unrequited love, also known as Erin and Alex."
"Wait, what? Erin, and Alex are dating?
"Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? They've been together for three months now."
"So, you and Erin aren't...?"
"Aren't what?"
"Well, you know, dating."
"Where did you get the idea that Erin and I were dating? We would never!"
"Um, I just kind of assumed. I mean, you said she was super pretty, for god's sake! How could I not have assumed?"
"Sushi, I was just speaking the truth. A lot of people think Erin's pretty. You probably are too. Doesn't mean I suddenly want to propose to you."
"You don't?"
"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that! I mean– well– I was just– god, I screwed this up real bad, didn't I?"
"No, it was perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't want you to propose to me either."
"Good."
"Good."
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
