Remember Me?

11

By the end of the month I was pretty much settled in Manhattan. It felt weird being back, and it was even more uncomfortable knowing I was only a bridge away from my beloved Brooklyn.

Patricia was taking care of the house at Vermont. She was taking a job teaching kindergarten at the school. Jenny would have to stay at a neighbors house which was easily arranged. I felt bad leaving them, especially when Patricia could have really used my help. But I think this was just something I simply had to do. There are some things in life in which you just have to accomplish. To me it would be a shame not to scratch that annoying itch. That idea floating in the back of your head, that would become a regret if you never got to it.

I was staying in one of Stark's apartments, I never understood the reason for having two apartments in the same city, but thankfully he was one of those people. The apartment was fancy too, bigger than any apartment I've ever stayed in. It had a direct view of central park which was nice. It also had a balcony made out of stone. The interior of the apartment had marble floors and velvet curtains. It had grand french doors and tall windows. The apartment was completely furnished with lovely, ordinate matching furniture. Everything was a dark wooden color and style. Howard knew how to live the posh life. The apartment was almost uncomfortable because it felt like I couldn't really touch anything. I was afraid I'd break something or scoff something. 

My first day back was in a week. I was nervous to go back again. I didn't know where my spot was exactly. Back in the war I knew exactly where I belonged. I wasn't really part of the Howling Commandos, like Peggy was but I was the string that connected them back to the army. I was the one who they communicated with during some missions and I was the one who briefed them. I had a niche in the army one that I grew comfortable in, and now I was starting new. I wouldn't have Colonel Phillips barking orders next to me or giving me a job that seemed higher than my rank.

On my first day I woke up earlier than my alarm. I blamed my anxiety for that. I couldn't settle myself down, I was really nervous for some reason. In all honesty, I hadn't worked much or worked with a lot of people in a while. I had chosen the reclusive life. Facing a whole team of people that had probably known each other for sometime was intimidating for me. I wasn't always great at opening up and making friends. I would have to force myself in this group. I didn't feel the same excitement and thrill as I did when I left for the army. I felt decades older.

My first day I put on a simple black skirt that went past my knees and a white button up. I looked nice, but simple, and that was easy. I entered the building and walked through the halls of it uncomfortably. Howard was supposed to meet me in his lab so I hesitantly headed there. I received some stares from the men that passed me. The only other woman in this building was the secretary. She gave me a smile when she let me through the secret door.

Howard's lab was very nice, and surprisingly clean. It had white walls and tables, everything looked very new and very up to date. I assumed everything was very expensive and impressive. I had been in Erskine's lab only a couple times so this was something of a new experience for me. I wasn't very comfortable in there, I didn't know what half the gadgets did.

I felt like everyone was staring at me when I decided to take a seat at a desk. I didn't speak to anyone in the lab and they made no move to talk to me. I looked like a lost puppy, I just sat at a desk and didn't touch or even look at anything in the lab. I didn't want to ruin something important, or push a button on accident. I just wanted to stay out of the way. God, I was so uncomfortable! Not only was I the only woman in the room, I was looking like I was the dumbest thing in the room. When I was in school I was pretty good at math and science. I was always at the top of my class. I wasn't stupid, I just never got this far into math and science. I stared at my hands for awhile and acted like I was really interested in my nails, which was a bad idea. Now I really looked like some idiot girl checking out her nails in a room full of the best technology in the world.