Broken [In Revision 2023]

Chapter 20 - Overthinking

Caleb was uncomfortable, not just because he could feel each one of the 200+ springs digging into his flesh through the threadbare mattress or the sheets that rubbed his skin like rough grit sandpaper. Even though the darkness he could feel the eyes of the model horses staring at him from their bed of dust on the bookshelves as if waiting for something to happen. His dinner, a double cheese double pepperoni pizza lay heavy in his stomach.

Outside the wind was howling again, ratting the screens and making the chimney whistle. It was as though the earlier storm was disappointed at the lack of damage it had caused to the ranch and decided to circle back and give it another shot.

Caleb rolled over, hoping sleep would find him easier if he wasn't constantly reminded that the previous occupant of this room had been a horse-mad teenager. Finally, his eyes started to drift closed.

Jake shouted. Caleb couldn't rouse himself quick enough to work out what was said but he jumped out of bed and rushed towards the door, just in case it was another attack. He strained his ears. Nothing. Unsure, he stealthily padded his way down the hall towards Jake's door.

"Don't you dare tell him," Jake shouted.

Caleb stopped in his tracks, but not quick enough to avoid the loose floorboard. It squeaked loudly underfoot.he was sure they must have heard him, Jake and whoever it was he was talking to. Retracting his foot slowly minimised the sound of the tell-tale board, he held his breath and pressed him back against the cool wall.

He considered it for a moment, nothing could drive up the track silently, the road was too far gone to allow it. And to his knowledge, none of the doors had been opened to let anyone in either. Caleb let out a sigh of relief, Jake must be on the phone.

"He doesn't need to know that," said Jake, the agitation clear in his voice.

Caleb had intended to go back to bed but found himself walking in the opposite direction, towards Jake's room. The door was ajar, he needed to be careful if he was to avoid being seen. However, when he dared to peek through the door he could see Jake's phone laying idle on the bedside table.

"It's complicated," Jake mumbled sleepily.

"Too right," whispered Caleb as he confirmed there was no one else present in the room. He knew he needed to get back to sleep, but something kept him there in the doorway observing Jake, a primitive fascination he couldn't rationalise.

Jake's loud snore made him jump, fearing he had been seen he dived into the bathroom. Not bothering with the light he caught sight of his ghostly reflection in the grimy mirror. His hair was too long now, he hadn't noticed earlier, but his curls had become such a mess he thought he looked like a worn out old mop. He could feel the stubble on his chin, and it made him sigh, he had let himself go. No wonder his mother had been shocked when she saw him.

He hadn't cared about his appearance in front of Jake, perhaps because Jake hadn't looked like someone concerned about image and was comfortable wearing shirts that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine in months. Was that why he enjoyed it here? No need to keep himself preened in case someone came to call, striving for material objects with high price tags to show off rather than living an authentic life.

That's what this is, he thought, this is living. Nothing pretty about ranch life except the surroundings, it's hard work, as tough on the body as it is on relationships. There are always jobs to be done. It'll eat you alive if you let it. Caleb felt a pang of guilt, was he dead-weight or was he helping?

He took the opportunity to relieve himself, hoping that he could empty his thoughts along with his bladder. "I've brought him back to life," he whispered to his reflection, relishing the cool water rushing against his clammy skin. He had to turn away when he remembered that he had almost cost Jake his life too.