Broken [In Revision 2023]

Chapter 26 - Freeze

Maddy was nervously concentrating on not pitching the truck into the deep gully at the side of the road, she didn't see what Jake saw, and couldn't understand why he had bailed out of a moving vehicle.

Jake tripped over himself, ripping the knees out of his jeans and abrading his palms. He wasn't aware that he was screaming, his focus was on the fallen animal. His heart tore as he lifted her heavy head into his lap, tears flowing thick and fast.

Maddy looked on as though she wasn't really there, she couldn't be, if she was then that would mean this was real. Numb, and with static buzzing in her ears like an angry hornet's nest, she couldn't take her eyes off the scene.

She shuffled closer, waiting for the horse to show some sign of life. Her mouth felt dryer than the surrounding desert, her tongue shrivelled up so she couldn't speak.

Jake could feel her standing behind him, he couldn't look at her but he knew the question she was unable to ask. "She was gone before she hit the ground," he choked on his own tears, "She wouldn't have felt a thing."

Realisation sunk in slowly for Maddy, she had sworn she had seen the mare move despite the glassy look in the mare's eyes. The events of the past couple of hours finally caught up to her in a cataclysmic wave of grief. "She almost made it," she managed before dissolving into tears.

Jake extricated himself from under the mare and wrapped his niece in a hug. "I'm so sorry Maddy," He stroked her hair as much to comfort himself as much as her, "I let her down, I've put you all through hell and I have no Idea what I am supposed to do now."

Maddy broke off the hug and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, "You've got to make the call so she can be... so she can go home."

"It's not safe to take her back, they could still be there waiting, I'll call Sean." Jake tried to keep his composure as a fresh wave of memories flooded in.

"Will he take her home?"

Jake shook his head, "Your mum could pick up the ashes and scatter them."

"She won't, not Dezi," she broke down in tears again. "Dezi was a gift to her, remember, to win barrels through college. Mom even tried to teach her to jump for me, and as you know teaching her anything is an experience."

They both laughed, it was hollow and did little to warm their icy insides.

"You have to tell her," Maddy said at last, "I can't. I'm scared that if I tell her this then everything else will come spilling out with it, I'm supposed to be competing not running away from monsters."

"She'll find out soon enough," Jake said as he searched his contacts for Sean's number.

"You have no idea how much this hurts, how much it's going to hurt her, I'm leaving everything behind. My whole career is gone if I skip now, years of my life wasted, Jake."

"No idea, huh?" Jake's numbness subsided as a burning rage coursed through his veins, "I didn't ask for any of this either, I was just helping what I thought to be an innocent animal. I've just lost my only friend," he pointed to Dezi, "she was the only one who stood by me while everyone else decided whose side they were on. I killed her. I was doing what I thought was right, I'm always doing what I think is right, but that's never good enough, is it? I'm just a screw up that goes around ruining other people's lives."

Neither Jake or Maddy spoke as they sat in the heat of the truck waiting for Sean. Jake kept his eyes on the mirror, and at the first glimpse of a large vehicle on the horizon, he jumped out to greet his old friend.

"Seems like your day just gets better and better," Sean said through the open window.

"What do you mean?" Jake gave him a puzzled look.

"Woah, no one's told you yet?" Sean whistled and shook his head, "Your house is on fire Jake, I saw it on my way up here."

"No," said Jake mindlessly, he abandoned the conversation and walked back to Maddy forgetting that she wasn't talking to him.

Sean leaned out of his vehicle to assess the situation before turning his rig around so he could get his job done as quickly and delicately as possible. He could tell that Jake was on the verge of another breakdown, and he couldn't blame the guy, losing his horse and his house in one day would be tough on anyone.

He dropped the ramp on the trailer, unleashing the familiar scent of death and extracted the winch hook. Looking up, he noticed Jake had reappeared at the mouth of the trailer. "So what happened here, was she in the trailer?"

"She wasn't coming with us," said Jake, his voice almost non-existent, "we were heading out for a show, Laura was going to come and check in on her while we were away."

"How is your sister, she still with that guy?" Sean grabbed a short length of rope from one of the many hooks in the back of his trailer.

The question took Jake by surprise, it was almost too mundane. "Yeah."

"Shame, I always thought she could do better." Sean jumped down the ramp. "And I thought you had given up the competitive circuit?"

"I had." Jake wanted to stop Sean from being so heavy handed with the chain around Dezi's leg, but his head was so full of thoughts he was more likely to scream than speak.

"You borrowing your niece's trailer?" Sean checked the chain.

"No she was driving," Jake swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. His head throbbed with the rhythm of his pulse.

"Damn," said Sean, "wasn't this her horse at one point? How old is this old girl?"

"I think Dezi taught a lot of people a lot of things over her 26-28 years," Jake struggled to keep his composure, he wanted to run into the depths of the desert and scream until he passed out. As he scanned his surroundings for the best possible route he noticed the growing plume of smoke in the distance. "Is it really burning?"

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I had hoped that we could reconnect over a couple of beers, not this." Sean sighed and placed a heavy hand on Jake's shoulder, "She had a good life, Jake, you took good care of her I can see that."

It was true, the aged mare looked much younger than most her age. Her shiny copper coat shone proudly through the patches of drying sweat. She was a healthy weight despite her lack of teeth, a testament to Jake's devotion to her wellbeing even though he had neglected his own.

"I need to get out of here," Jake said suddenly as if remembering danger could potentially be hot on their tail, "I don't want Maddy to see you drag the body, I'm going to drive her home if you that's okay with you?"

"Sure, no problem," Sean patted Jake on the shoulder a couple of times, "Has she said goodbye?"

Jake nodded.

"Take that girl home to Laura, I'll waive the collection fee for you, but you'll still have to pay for the cremation. I take it that's what you want?"

"Yes, " emotion caused the word to catch in his throat, "Thank you, Sean, I'll get the money to you this afternoon."

"Nah, as long as it's paid in 14 days we're cool," Sean made a quick note on his phone, "Again I just wish we were talking under better circumstances, but it was nice to see you, buddy, let's not let it be so long next time. You'll be needing a drink while this all blows over."

Jake raised his hand in farewell. He tapped on Maddy's window.