The Girl with Cat's Eyes

C H A P T E R 27

 Trust is hard to earn

Easy to take

Maybe we forgot

That it may all be fake

Get back on your feet

Show them, let them see

How much you mean to me

C H A P T E R 27

Hey.

'Hey!' Lilly and Emma chorused, Lilly her normal crazy self, Emma just bubbly from her date the previous night with James. Jess, James, Josh, Sam, and Daniel were all on the other side of the table discussing the football results from the previous night. It was lunch, but Emma had had a retake of a test at break and had made Lilly promise not to tell me until she was there.

Ooh! How did it go? Where did he take you, Em?

'Oh! I know this one!' That was Lilly, piping up.

'Shush up, Lils! I want to tell her!'

'Right, sorry, lovey...'

Well?

'He took me to the planetarium!'

Oh my God! I didn't know he had it in him to be so cliché!

'I know! It was amazing, cliché, but amazing, we had a romantic meal under the stars!'

'Yeah, well-' Lilly was about to interrupt, but there was a sudden buzz from the speaker system in the canteen. It squeaked, and then made a horrid noise like nails down a black board. I covered my ears until it stopped. It was silent for a few seconds before people started whispering.

What’s going on?

'No freaking idea!' Lilly replied, the she screamed over to the girl at the sound system: 'Hey, what the hell's going on?' Everyone was suddenly quiet. The girl turned around and I realized it was Chelsea. 'You'll see...' She winked at me then, and I got a strange sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

And then sound came from the speakers. It was too loud at first, but she turned it down, and I knew exactly what it was.

'Jess?'

'Yeah?'

'I was pregnant.'

It was a recording from that night in the forest with Jess, the night I had told him about Liam, and the pregnancy.

I sat there, listening as a single tear slipped from my eye.

'I was raped.'

'Raped?'

'Yeah, by Levi's brother, Liam.'

Another tear fell, then another.

'And then the police came, and it was all such a muddle, and I felt so dirty... '

I stared harder at my lap, willing everyone to look away, willing this to be a horrid dream.

'Oh, Jess, there was blood, so much fucking blood!'

I heard my self sobbing, heard it muffle as Jess held me. I heard myself tell him everything.

‘I don't know, it's stupid, but that kid, that thing in my stomach, it meant the world to me. My unborn child and Levi, they were they only people that mattered anymore.'

I could feel their gazes on my back, practically see Lilly sitting opened mouthed, though I wasn't looking at her.

' I don't think I was strong, or stable enough to have a kid, I mean, I still cut, my Dad beat me up, and when Lev died I went a little loopy, so how in heavens name would I have coped with a child?'